Mystical Angels

What can my niece use for her fortune teller paper things? My 8 year old niece loves making those fortune paper teller things, where you pick a color, then a number, then another number, and it reveals your destiny. Well she is having trouble coming up with what it should say in the end? Any funny things she could say? Any Ideas?

How to make a paper fortune teller? I was telling my children about paper fortune tellers, but i couldn't remember what one writes in the folds. I know it could things like opposite gender for who you're going to fall in love with, number of children you were to have, a big or small house, etc. I understand the range of outcomes may be vast, but where exactly to write down on the fortune teller I couldn't remember. I do remember holding up a flap, but after that i'm blank. Please help me. my kids are looking for a cool activity to do.

How do I put my fingers in the paper fortune teller? I made a paper fortune teller but I have no idea how to put my fingers in them. I made mine exactly like this one: http://www.girlpower.gov/GIRLAREA/gamespuz/cootiecatcher.htm So can you please explain to me, thanks. =]

how does a paper fortune teller work? I was telling me children about paper fortune tellers, but i couldn't remember what one writes in the folds. I know it could things like opposite gender for who you're going to fall in love with, number of children you were to have, a big or small house, etc. I understand the range of outcomes may be vast, but where exactly to write down on the fortune teller I couldn't remember. I do remember holding up a flap, but after that i'm blank. Please help me. my kids are looking for a cool activity to do.

What to write in a good paper fortune teller, for 15 and above? I dont want any lameo cr*p like 'you will marry justin timberlake' i want some really cool stuff k? I need more Idea's.

do you know a little game caled paper fortune teller? do you know a little game caled paper fortune teller?do you have any ideas about what can i write below the numbers? its important!i made it for a girl and its real cute...

How do you make a paper fortune teller? You know... those ones that you fold and use with your thumbs and index fingers, I think. There's a lot of folding involved. Thank you for all answers! =)

what are some good things to write in a paper fortune teller ? i need two more to write and they need to be bad luck. thanks for the help

What to put in a paper fortune teller!? Ok so im making a lot of paper fortune tellers and i cant really figure out what fortunes i should put in there. Any ideas!!!!???

What are good things to write in a paper fortune teller?

do you have fortunes for a paper fortune teller? i am making lots of paper fortune tellers and i need some good fortunes to put inside

Are the the steps to make a fortune teller out of paper? I forgot how to make them. Can you please give me the steps and the instructions like how to make them. Like when I mean fortune teller out of paper is: When you could pick out like the color or number and let the fortune teller read it to you. Thanks

what website can has directions to make a paper fortune teller?

Is there a website to make a paper fortune teller? I don't want directions on how to make one, I want to make one online then print it. Is there a website like that of tells you how to do it on PAINT program? I do have PAINT program. How would I make it on there is what I'm asking!

how do you make a paper fortune teller? i tried so bad but i couldn't figure i out

what would you write on a paper fortune teller? i teach english in japan, and one of my courses is actually more about culture. i want to teach my students about those paper fortune tellers we all made as kids, and have them play. these kids don't come up with their own ideas, so i need to write the fortunes on the paper for them. (i'll make a few and then copy them.) i want to make some happy fortunes and some funny fortunes. since i'm doing this so close to halloween, i also want to include some fortunes having to do with halloween. any suggestions to extend my pool? thanks for helping!

I want to make a fortune teller for my boyfriend that's really cute and tells him how much I love him? What should I put inside the things? I need cute little things that will make him want to keep it forever and will make him really really happy! It's just that kind of little paper fortune teller.

What should i write in my paper fortune teller?

how do you make a fortune teller made out of computer paper? I wanna make a fortune teller for my little sis. She wants to use it on her friends. So, how do you make one??

so today I cracked my fortune cookie, but it didn't have a fortune paper teller. what does that mean?

so today I cracked my fortune cookie, but it didn't have a fortune paper teller. what does that?

how to fold a fortune teller with a square paper? I know how to make one out of print paper, but I don't know how to on square paper

Fortune Teller ask me my favor color and 4nos. Open the paper and it writen my choice. how did he do it? Met a Fortune Teller today. He wrote somthing on a piece of paper then fold it and pass to me. Then ask me what is my favor color and tell him 4 numbers. after telling him, he ask me to open the paper that he passed to me. On the paper, it writen the exact color and the 4numbers i just told him. My question is i know it's a trick but does anyone know how he do it?

Why don't kids play with paper fortune tellers in middle school? I was watching SP last night and I remembered them. Not even sixth graders. In fourth & fifth grade everyone played with them. Then they poofed away.

How do you make those fortune teller things that are made of paper??? I will explain them below.? Ok those thinks that you pick the number and then the fortune teller person moves it around and stuff.

ideas on what to put inside "paper fortune tellers"/ cootie catchers? I have made one and I don't know how or what to put inside of it! My mom helped me but she doesn't want me 2 mess it up so she wants me to get ideas! Please help!

I don't know how to make a research paper on Fortune-tellers and psychics? So my teacher asked us to pick a topic and make a research paper about it. I don't know why I chose fortune-tellers and psychics. Now I'm stuck with this topic. What's interesting about this topic that I could put on my research paper? Think as much as possible please.

Cootie Catchers/Paper Fortune Tellers? What is the full story on the history of cootie catchers/paper fortune teller? where did it come from? when?

cutesy fortune teller fortunes? i need some fortunes to put in my little paper fortune teller?

Do people really buy paper Fortune Tellers? just want to know if people do buy them

What other fun paper thingies are their besides fortune tellers? I am sooo bored and today I was having flashbacks to when used to ALWAYS use those with my friends. Do anyone know anything else like those you can make out of just paper is like markers? You know like mash raps and stuff?

I want to make a love origami fortune teller for my husband what should be in it? Remember those paper origami fortune tellers that we used to make back in scool, well I want to make one for my husband and am looking for some ideas of what to put in it. Any suggestions are appreciated.

help i need help with a paper?? exposing FORTUNE TELLERS? first of all can you give me a brief summary of fortune tellrs please !!! ok im suppose to like debunk any psedoscience and i chose fortune tellers, and i should give claims like why they r fake, and expose them.. and stuff like that.. so if u can give me claims and ideas by exposing them.. my paper is suppose to be 2000 words :s but give me as much ideas as u have..THANK YOUUUUUUUUU !!! i really really appreciate it soo soo much..

Are fortune teller origami things real? I am wondering if those origami things where people will write things on them saying stuff about your future real or not? I know some fortune tellers are legit but are these paper things where any person could write whatever they want real?

did i set a world record for smalest fortune teller? i made a fortune teller with a paper thats 1 1/2 cm and the fortune teller is 1/2 a cm. here's a pic of it http://www.flickr.com/photos/25301940@N02/3326257087/

Harry Potter fortune teller? I'm making a Harry Potter themed fortune teller out of paper, just for fun. What are some of the "fortunes" or saying I should put under each flap that are Harry Potter related? Thanks :)

what is something fun to fold with paper? i like to play alot with fortune paper tellers but i want more im bored with that already so i want like a paper game please help answere................

Ideas for a homemade gift for boyfriend? I like to make little random gifts for my boyfriend. One time I made him one of those paper fortune teller things but I used numbers and colors that were personal to us and instead of fortunes I wrote things about him that I love and some of my favorite memories with him. I'd like to do something kind of similar to that. Any help would be fantastic. Thanks!

How do u make a fortune teller? the one made of paper ? and tell ur fortune

how do i make those fortune teller things? the folded paper things where uyou pick a color and a number and they have little fortunes on them. can someone send me a link on how to make one tof those please:) thank you:)

can some one please debunk fortune tellers for me? i need ideas for a paper, please !!? this is for the one who dont believe in fortune teller, has a friend ever argued with you and tel you that fortune tellers are true and did u argue back and give evidence that ur friend is wrong and that fortune teller and indeed not true.. well i need some one to write me something long about fortune teller and how they are just lies, and all fake !! please i need ideas for a paper im wiriting and i need to desperately prove some one wrong so bad.. thank you !! ill be waiting for your response.. thanks again bye

Girls, good idea for asking girl to homecoming? Ok so I really like my friend and I want to ask her to homecoming. I decided to get a little a creative. Is this a good idea? I would make a paper fortune teller thing and either way she picks it will always say "Go to homecoming with me?" Or "homecoming?" Something like that. Is this a good idea? I understand it depends on the girl but I want to know YOUR opinion. Is this good?

Would she like it if I asked her out like this? Ok so I am asking my friend out tomorrow at school (we are in highschool). I love her very much and I want to ask her out in the most creative way possible. Anyways, here is how I am planning it: I made a paper fortune teller thing today and I am going to show it to her tomorrow. No matter what flap she picks, it will say "With me, you will feel no pain and you will never frown again. Will you go out with me?" Do you think this will work? Will she like it?

Girls: How would YOU want to be asked out? I asked my girlfriend in person, and she seemed un-impressed(but she was still smiling) because her last boyfriend(one of my close friends) asked her out with a paper fortune teller thing.

Fortune-tellers and psychics. What's the the difference? Okay leave out the crap where they're fakes blah blah blah. This is for my project. I'm going to make a research paper about fortune-tellers and psychics. What's the difference between the two? And if you have something to suggest for my paper, go ahead :)

What Are Some How To Do Ideas? I need some how to ideas for this project that is due June 1st but the idea is due tomorrow. I would've asked sooner but my teacher just told us about it. When I say "how to" I mean something like - "How to Make a Paper Fortune Teller" & "How to Bake a Cookie" & "How to Make Macaroni" you know stuff like that. I need ideas for students that are in grade 6-8 (junior high school) and it would be highly appreciated if you can make a list or just simply type it out. Thank you very much! ;]

What are some halarious dares? What are some really funny dares that are approriate for 7th graders? Also what are some good fortunes to put in a paper fortune teller.

did you know there was a birth announcement for obama in an hawaiin paper? Berg and his supporters further assert that the “Certification of Live Birth” produced by Obama was altered or forged. They claim that the contemporaneous birth announcement in a Hawaii newspaper of Obama’s birth is insufficient evidence that he was born there. (Did a fortune-teller place it in the paper knowing he would run for president?). And they accuse anyone who disagrees with them of being part and parcel of the grand plan to install Emperor Obama and usurp the rule of law.

what is the name of the title song thats played in the nbc series community? Its played durring the paper fortune teller that flips to cast members names

Why do they say its bad to have your future read to you by a fortune teller ? Well iwas in Downtown w| my friends one day & a lady came up to me passinq out flyers about her fortune tellinq shop & she told me im qonna live for a very lonq time ! So my mom found the paper & told me never to qo to a fortune teller that its bad ! but she never told me why -__- ! Does anyone kno why people think havinq your future read is bad ? but like iremember my mother told me once that way befor iwas born (im 15] some quy stopped her & her friend when they were walkinq one day & he told my moms friend that she was qoinq to have problems w| her boyfriend that they were qoinq to qet in a serious aqument & she was qoinq to move out & it really happened & he told my mother that she is qoinq to die when she is 4Oyrs old & shes 39 riqht now so like what if hes riqht ? cause he was riqht abt her friends fortune ! uhmmm Yeah ibelieve in God im just CURIOUS !

What to write in a good paper fortune teller, for 15 and above? I dont want any lameo cr*p like 'you will marry justin timberlake' i want some really cool stuff k?

Dream about fortune teller? some years ago i dream that i was going down in some underground area until i come facing this fortune teller woman. I was looking around and so that the floor has alot paper money, then i sit in front of her and she start to read my fortune but i feel like that i was just laughting inside me like i dont believe her because she takes only money? so it will not work. This area was some how a restricted area like only you alone must go there.

Girls, good idea for asking girl to homecoming? Ok so I really like my friend and I want to ask her to homecoming. I decided to get a little a creative. Is this a good idea? I would make a paper fortune teller thing and either way she picks it will always say "Go to homecoming with me?" Or "homecoming?" Something like that. Is this a good idea? I understand it depends on the girl but I want to know YOUR opinion. Is this good?

What are some cool things to do with paper?????? Hey I am always bored and I have a hole bunch of paper!I Know how to make fortune tellers and really good paper airplanes.After awhile they get kind of boring.

How to make a paper fortune teller? I was telling my children about paper fortune tellers, but i couldn't remember what one writes in the folds. I know it could things like opposite gender for who you're going to fall in love with, number of children you were to have, a big or small house, etc. I understand the range of outcomes may be vast, but where exactly to write down on the fortune teller I couldn't remember. I do remember holding up a flap, but after that i'm blank. Please help me. my kids are looking for a cool activity to do.

whats a cool way to tell my friend that i'm taking her to disneyland? i'm aloud to take my best friend to disneyland for my birthday, but i don't want it to be like, "hey do you think you can go to disneyland with me?" no. i like suprising her, and she's had a rough past. i was thinking of making one of those paper fortune tellers and writing in every space "i amd taking you to disneyland!" or is tht lame? p.s. we're in middle school and we're girls.

"Fortune Teller Miracle Fish", has anyone heard of this little contraption? It's very scary? My sister introduced me to a nice little red paper fish that tells you your fortune. You have to put it in the palm of your hand you have to wait 2 or 3 seconds then it starts to move it will make only one move you have to read the little paper it comes with once it stops moving. It keeps saying that I'm in love if not it says I'm very passionate. When I put it on someone elses palm it has different results than mine. Let me tell you these results are scary accurate! They make perfect sense! Even the people who were tested were very surprised! All I hear from them is "Oh my God! How does it know!?" Why the hell does it keep saying I'm in love? I have no one special in my life and there is no one I'm intrested in. I understand the passionate part my passion is writting songs and poetry I am very passionate about that I make music all day every day and I go ape s**t over my car. So what is this thing? How is it so accurate? Why does it keep saying I'm in love if there is no one?

so today I cracked my fortune cookie, but it didn't have a fortune paper teller. what does that mean?

Does any1 know any paper folding games? Paper games like fortune teller ??????

What are good ideas for displaying pictures for a scrapbook? I've seen several ways to display pictures in a scrapbook to save pages--a flip book, folding pages vertically/horizontally and even in one of those paper game fortune tellers kids play with (with numbers or colors). Any other ideas? I've been trying to look on sites but I'm not sure what to search under.

What are some things a 10 year old could sell to her classmates at school? Like fortune tellers, paper bookmarks, finger-knitted scarves.... Any ideas?

I need an interesting topic for my spanish class presentation. any ideas? For my 12th grade spanish project we need to talk about a topic for 15 minutes, and then interact with the class. i was going to do paper fortune tellers whoever a classmate did the same thing right before my presentation. now i need to change my whole project. i need ideas quick. its due tomorrow =O

Does anyone remember the name of the paper folding game? The one where you write numbers on each side then ask someone to pick one then pick a colour etc....... I've looked on search engines but to no avail, I've had a couple of suggestions eg: "Fortune Teller" and "Chatterbox" but I know it as something else........ any ideas? sly: it's worth a big fat juicy 10 points lol r-rex- I've seen that name too but I think thats the American name for it, o'm in the UK

so today I cracked my fortune cookie, but it didn't have a fortune paper teller. what does that mean?

i need a fortune teller/future teller person.? ok im almost 14, and the other night i had this dream and it was kinda stupid, but i have had this dream or one like it like 2 other times, it was about me in a store and i just always seem to be in a basket that never stops and then i always end up in an elevator going down to the lowest floor and it is very creepy. and then last night i had a dream about my brother, he died 13 years ago, and i had a dream about this paper that said like why he was dying, and it was because of his tumor thing he had.(he really did die of a tumor thing) can someone PLEASE tell me if this is a sign about something? like im being forreal,it is reall taking a tole on me and my grades. thanks. oh i never met him, he died exactly 1 month befor i was born :(

is this a good way to ask a guy to sadies? sadies (the dance) im going to make a paper fortune teller and have all the openings say SADIES? GREG&SARAH? is that good? or weird, and creepy? vv picture of the type fortune teller http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg34/carleyestes/paperfortuneteller.jpg

Funny fortunes for teens? Me and my friends are making the little paper fortune tellers because we're bored. lol. can you give us some funny fortunes for teens (14-15 years old) to put in the fortune teller thingy.

what should i put in it? i hav lik 1 of those paper fortune teller things lik the school ones. but i want to do it for my friend in egypt. like phrases from real fortune COOKIES. so far i hav u will hav good luck; bad luck and stay away from noodles(lol!) any ideas?

What's the South park episode when...? When The Boys steal the paper fortune teller from the girls. and when they send butters to the girl's party disquised as a girl named Marinara?

How do you make those fortune tellers? you use paper and you write numbers and then a fortune and peole say a number and then you switch it how ever many times.... do you know how!!!

why is is that my super paper mario is i all weird? well it's just the game super paper mario were i'am stuck at i am in chapter 7-4 i think in the over there anyway i have the blue orb and i put it where it is suppose to go and then when i went to the fortune teller to find out were the other orbs she said"find and cross the rainbow bridge you made but i do not remember making a rainbow bridge what do i do????

Please help me think of something!!!? Help! My grandson has to do a paper on something he can do step by step and write it in story form, then demonstrate in front of the class. Other kids are doing things such as paper football making, etc. Really stupid simple things but the easiest are all taken. How to throw a football, paper airplane, paper fortune teller, etc. I can't think of a thing and neither can he. Please please gimme some ideas!!!!!!

I have a Wii question, in paper mario I cleared chapter 2 but I can't get through the wall, please help.? I even asked the fortune teller.hoe do I get theough the wall. in super paper mario not paper mario

introduction for a speech? okay i'm doing a speech in my english class, and can't think of an intro to start my speech. its supposed to "hook" the audience. my speech is on how to make a paper fortune teller. if you don't know what that is...here is a picture of one http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/2366422/FortuneTeller00-main_Full.jpg

speech topic help!? has to be about 2 min. and has about 10 steps it is a how to speech so an ex would be like how to tie you shoe. EXCEPT i cant do that one, i cant do anything with food. no paper fortune teller or air plane. HELP please! thank you.

TWILIGHT CRAFTS????? My friend absolutely loves Twilight. And I love crafts. Perfect things huh. well the crafts part is. i want to know if there are any paper crafts or clay or anything cheap that i could use for crafts. I was thinking about making a paper fortune teller with a lot of quotes and people from Twilight, like"Victoria is near" or "I'm just a Bella searching for my Edward." Stuff like that. so if theres anything else i could do, notify me. And it might make me actually read the last 2. I'm beginning to think Breaking Dawn is boring. I bet its not, but i think it is boring. so to tie this all up I need you to request with steps and possibly websites TWILIGHHHHT CRAFFFFFTS. THANK YOUUU I<3YOU

My boyfriend's at camp for 6 weeks. What are some things I can send him? [Silly gifts]? My boyfriend has gone off to be a counselor at a Boy Scout camp for 6 weeks [leaving me here all by myself, haha). I'd like to send him some random things. Any ideas? Letters, obviously, and I've already shipped off some snacks, but what are some other silly things I can send him? I don't want anything to be uber embarrassing, but he has a good sense of humor. I'm thinking along the lines of funny boxers or kiddy games (paper fortune teller, pick-up sticks, etc.). We have been dating over 7 months. He's 15, I'm 17. Thanks in advance!

Wedding favors advice? I have pretty much narrowed options for wedding favors down to the "cootie catchers" (the little paper fortune teller things we made in grade school).. But I don't know what to really put on there.. Should I put like a little dare kinda thing, like "get up and dance" "make a new friend" and things along that line or should I make them questions about us? Like "where did we meet?" or "How did he purpose?".. I don't really want to put the dare kinda things because i dont really think people will like them as much.. But If I do the questions bout us I'm not sure people will really understand how to "play"... Does anyone have any suggestions for other things I could write or any other creative ideas?

Paper Mario Thousand Year Partner Upgrade Partners? On the gamecube, i heard that you can upgrade ur partners by going to some fortune teller, which i did. but I also heard when you get three shine sprites you can upgrade a partner, how do you do that???? i have 13 shine sprites, and goombella and koops are still only level ten so i really need to learn how to upgrade them.

What Movie is this scene from? Right, recently i randomly remembered a clip of a movie- but i can't remember what movie its from! I know it's definitely a movie that they only show on TV - sort of like a Disney or Nick movie maybe? It's this girl of about 12-15 and she seems abit depressed, she goes round the back of her house and either her dad or her friend is there (can't remember :p) and they sit down and her dad/ friend does one of those paper fortune tellers and the sad girl opens the fortune and it says "Turn Around" and she says "What kind of fortune is that?" but turns around anyway and standing there is this ginger woman in all black who seems to be a kind of wisdom guru who speaks in monotone - sad girl goes and hugs her. They're in her room (which i think is purple) and the sad (now happy) girl says "When do you have to go back?" and the guru lady goes "I never go back- i only go forward", and that's all i remember :D Any idea?

I just need HELP!!!? i have to baby sit for 2 weeks , week one is done & i only have a few days to finnish up the second week & i have no way to keep these kids (there are only two one is 6 & one is 8) occupied we have done very thing made forts painted made dough baked brownies made funny snacks made paper fortune tellers every thing i need ideas SIMPLE but fun ideas some thing that will keep them busy for a long time or just a fun simple out doors game I NEED HELP ALL I DEAS ARE WELCOME THANK YOU I REALLY APPERCIATE IT!!!!! THANKS FOR YOU TIME oh yea im only 13 so i cant take them any where

A motivating statement for a how-to paper!!!!DUE TOMoRRow!!! TUESDAY!!!!URGENT? i need a motivating statement to get the people to try to make a fortune teller. it is for a how-to paper...it is important...please write back soon!!!!!!!! well....i am doing how to make a fortune teller for my project. and in class tom. i have to read them my paper....and at the end of the paper i have to say something to get them to make a fortune teller. like i would say "Now go make a fortune teller" but i have to be creative..and that is hard!!!! please give me some creative suggestions!!!!!!

I want to host a Twilight DVD release party, any Ideas? I don not want costumes please! Ideas So Far: Games: *Read Quotes From The Book- See Who Guesses The Right Character Who Says It *Pros And Cons Of Teams *Fortune Teller Paper Origami Game *Pose With Life Size Edward Decoration: *Red Ribbon Hanging From Ceiling *Only Candle Lit Lighting *Icicle Light Hanging From The Fan (Prom) *Red And Black Balloons *Tie Red Ribbon Around Coke Cans *Stack Books Food And Drink: *Ravioli (1st Date) *Coke (1st Date) *Red Punch *Forbidden Fruit- Cinnamon Apples Yes, I Have An Edward Stand Up!!

What is that toy kids create to tell the future? Back in fourth-grade, every girl in my class had one of these and worked them like professional fortune teller. They are made of paper and are folded in quarters and eights. You have to choose a number or color. One of my co-workers thinks it was called a bird's beak. Help!

Question about Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door? Well, I'm trying to find the last shine sprite, and I just can't! I asked the fortune teller who has all those weird cards. He said that it is on the tree on the left in front of the cold village path coming out of the pipe that leads to Rogueport. I have looked in both the sewers and just plain Rogueport. First of all, there are few pipes that lead to village path, and none of those paths have a tree in the front and on the left! Can you please help by telling my the place where this shine sprite is.

super paper mario for the wii? in the land of cragins i need 1 more tablet i have the water and the fire tablets i used the fortune teller but i forget where u fight o"chunks.i did see a fighure that looked like yoshi is that where i get the last tablet.and how do i get it

Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door? Ok Two Things I cannot Find: One: I Cannot Find Don Pinata's (sp) Daughter I Went To The Fortune Teller And She Told Me They Are Waiting To Depart From Something So I Checked The Train,The Blimp,And The Boat And They Weren't There Two: I Cannot Find The Koopook That's Hiding In Hooktail's Castle ! Thanks For Your help!!

Super Paper Mario Wii help? I'm stuck on the bit after the Space Chapter 4 and the Fortune teller said go somewhere. I am there but what do I do with the 8 blocks? I'm finding the heart pillar.

Super Paper Mario Help!? I am stuck in Flip Side and i am on level 4 i have the pure heart but i don't know where the rock thing is. plz tell me where the stone is. I have no clue where it is i went to the fortune teller and she told me to go to the place where the blocks are and i did and i still can't find it. WHERE IS IT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? plz tell me!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? THX -wiiplay_ds

do you love or hate school? i hate it. i sleep, daydream, draw, make fortune tellers out of the paper hall passes, think of outrageous situations i would rather be in than in whoever's bullsh*t class, etc, LOL! you?

What games did you play when you were younger? I remember lots of Hand Clap games. Like Down down baby, ET from outer space, or Down by the river, lol. I also remember MASH. and Fortune tellers made out of paper. And jump rope games. A lot of those I use to play when I was 6 to 9 years old. Well MASH I played in like junior high. lol there was a game, I remember girls were playing with boys called "Freaky Friday" lol all I remember is one girl got a beating from her mom for playing it. lol Mz anonymous - Yes Miss Mary Mack was the ish. Hey remember "I was going to Kentucky. I was going to the fair to see my sister Rita with the flower in her hair. Oh shake it sister Rita. Shake it like you can. Shake it like a milkshake and do it twice again. Oh shake it to the bottom, shake it to the top. Then turn around and turn around until you make a stop" lol lmao Wasteman "Training Day" lol Zell Paris

Have you ever had a moment where you think to yourself...? ....holy s***! I just had one...I'm cleaning out my room right now, and I'm going through a box of keepsakes, and a found a piece of paper I had written what my fortune teller had told me down in New Orleans in 2001.... And there is more than one thing that have come true... It's crazy and creepy at the sametime... So if you've ever had a "holy s***" moment what was it....?

Finally a reason why Kobe is the best.? I went to a local book shop and I found one magazine with the best basketball player on the cover. I suddenly became erratic with the manager and demanded he order more magazines with Kobe on them. Do you know what he mention, this Noby Konoby Jedi guru said, " The force is will place him on every magazine cover this season." This guy insisted that Kobe is the only one with Jedi abilities and anyone from the past or present cannot be compare on his level. I thought this guy was insane but then I observed a specific unique piece of paper on the wall in his office. He was a graduate from Harvard with a degree in Physic and a certified fortune teller. Pretty creepy for all the anti-Kobe fans lol.

What would you put in a paper fortune teller? I'm bored and in class, so I'm making a bunch of these things. I'm stumped on what to put in them. Any suggestions? I'd hate to fill them with just "Yes" and "No" >:D

What should I...? What should I put in a fortune teller? You know one of those paper ones? They have to be somewhat school appropriate? As in no cussing. Like you could do pantsing I guess or something ya kno??

My friend is mad at me over a little thing...? On the bus today i sat next to my friend Wendy and my friend Amber was in the seat across. I guess Wendy opened her mouth to speak but as soon as she was about to i turned and started chatting with Amber. I didn't know Wendy was about to say something. So after about 5 minutes she hasn't said a word and i say "What's wrong?" She said "You know what's wrong you just blew me off for Amber! I was GOING to say something about school, i THOUGHT you might be interested but i guess not!" I said exactly this "Oh im sorry i didn't know you were about to say something.....you wanna tell me now?" She just rolled her eyes and said "No....?" So after about 10 more minutes of awkward silence she starts to warm up a lil and shows me this fortune teller thing you can fold out of paper. We play with it for a while then Cody (who was sitting behind me) asked me if he could try it. So i asked Wendy and she said yes. So i showed it to Cody and some of his friends when Wendy snatched it out of my hands and shoved it in her bookbag. I asked her why she did that and she said "Well first off all, IT'S MINE!!" So i was about to say sorry when she shoved her head phones on and put her ipod on full blast to zone me out. So i wrote her a note and it said "Im sorry i offended you" and she just rolled her eyes and said "You didnt offend me i just started to get ticked off okay?" And we went the rest of the ride with out talking. I DONT GET IT. I said im sorry and i asked her if she forgives me and she said "idk" Was i really that rude?

what do you think of this essay? This was something I wrote when I was 13 for an essay about how someone can change your life dramatically. I just found it saved on my computer and I'm quite impressed seeing how young I was. In the dim light, Kara Leigh went to the window. Her auburn hair lay unkempt on her shoulders but you would not notice because her enthralling beryl-green eyes captured you at first glance. Trembling she peered through the blinds. The wind from the mountains pressed its chilly tendrils against the pane of glass, making it bow slightly. This silent reassurance was all the comfort she needed. Calmed, but not yet willing to return to bed Kara put on her black silk robe and headed towards the kitchen. The cobblestone floor and distressed cabinets were all the more welcoming now that a pot of water sat boiling on the stove. Kara walked to the pantry and retrieved a canister of her favorite herbal tea and a jar of her grandmother’s honey. She set the tea to steep and hopped onto the concrete counter. She had an air of elegance abound her, even in this distressed state. Her thoughts raced through her mind about yesterday evening’s occurrence. Kara and her best friend, Tina, were at the carnival when Tina got the idea to visit a fortune teller. Tina was told that love would soon appear in the most unexpected places and she should expect advances in her career. A very uplifting reading. When Kara walked in, however, the mood was very different. The air was heavy around her and the pungent scent of sandalwood invaded the cramped tent. A plump older woman dressed in black and perse, smiled and welcomed her to take a seat on the opposite cushion. Kara did this, and placed her hands palm up on the table in front of her. “When the wind is still in the mountains and the sun fails to rise on time, be wary of a pale rider, upon his pale horse.” The fortune teller looked up and Kara briefly caught a glimpse of fear in her eyes. Kara went home in a daze. The timer beside her went off signaling her tea was ready, but she was too preoccupied to drink it now. Could this possibly be true? Or was this just a hoax? Kara suspected the latter, but somewhere deep in her subconscious she was frightened. Only after a few moments of silence did she put two and two together. In two weeks the winter solstice would arrive, bringing with it the longest night of the year. The sun would not rise at its usual time. Fear constricted Kara’s throat and it suddenly became difficult for her to breathe. Too anxious to go back to bed, Kara took a few sips of her tea. It was only two hours until she would normally get up anyway. Kara brushed a few strands of her hair out of her face and maneuvered her laptop bag in front of her as she stepped through the elevator doors. Just three floors until she could settle into the office that she and Tina shared. She would finally be able to confront Tina about the other night’s occurrence. All went well for the first few hours as Tina and Kara work on developing a new level in the new horror game they were developing; ‘Sylan’s crystals”. Shortly after two o’clock Tina was called into the boss’s office. She was to be mentoring the new intern Greg. Kara’s thoughts immediately jumped to what the Fortune teller had said, “[Tina] should expect advances in her career”. Mentors get a bonus for every week they work with an intern. Kara brushed it off as merely a coincidence until later that week. Greg had been hired for a rival company, and Kara received a call from Tina. Tina and Greg had been on a date and hit it off smashingly. This quick conversation concluded with well wishes and a sigh as Kara remembered the rest of the fortune teller’s predictions for Tina. Kara was feeling rather overwhelmed with this whole predicament. Should she write a will? No, she was just taking things way out of proportion. Or should she be cautious anyway. Kara decided that the best thing to do was to jot down on a piece of paper that she wished for her body to be donated to science. She signed, dated, and stuck the piece of paper in her wallet. The days grew dimmer for Kara as the nights grew colder. All that she could hope for is that the wind would be blowing on the solstice. Three hours until the sun would set on winter solstice. Kara paced back and forth impatiently for the majority of this time. She occasionally glanced at the trees in the near distance and saw that they swayed lightly in the breeze. Good she thought as she settled into her favorite arm chair to read the latest issue of Instyle. There was no need to worry in the first place; the old woman was just a carnival fortune teller. Did Kara even believe in those kinds of things anyway? About fifteen minutes until pitch black, Kara stood up and stretched. She turned to television on with a flick of the remote and tuned into the news. She strutted over to the large bay window and noticed that the trees no longer danced delightfully. In fact, not even the slightest breeze was blowing. Kara began to grow faint, as the blood rushed from her head. A haze of gray flooded Kara’s vision and she collapsed to the floor in a fit of convulsions. Anibus, the god of death, loomed ever near, and slowly, the crimson river from Kara’s skull grew and stretched onto the living room floor. Outside the wind grew and the leaves bristled on the trees. It was irrational fear that took the life of Kara Leigh that night. Vulnerable and impressionable in her thoughts she caused herself to become ill by the mere suggestion of a stranger. The fortune teller had a fatal impact on her life as a result few seconds of a one-sided conversation.

Person to answer the most of these questions (or all) wins 10 points? don't say something like "you have too much time on your hands" i found this on the internet and simply copied and pasted it, you can tell i didn't type it all because it's far more than 1000 characters, whoever can answer the most or if it's possible ALL these questions will earn 10 points and most importantly, my respect BEGIN :) What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

give me some lovely and inventive messages/wishes/fortunes/misfortune etc. to write in my paper fortune teller? (chatterbox, cootiecatcher or scrunchie), please.

In Super Paper Mario on Wii, I have just beaten Mimi and now I have to get past a tall stone block. Help!? The stone block is in Flipside and it is a different color block than the rest. It is tall and it has a picture of Boomer on it. The fortune teller says use a Pixl to get thruough the wall to "find the way", but I can't get past or thruough the wall! I have tried to go slim and get behind it...doesn't work. I have tried to use Boomer to blow it up, doesn't work. Any ideas? Thanks!

Naughty cootie catchers....? Hey- Ok..so my friends and i got really bored in class today, so we decided to make those cootie catcher things(paper fortune tellers) and im trying to think of some like naughty(bad, but funny) fortunes i could write in it. Even just something crazy to write in it... Does anyone have any ideas!?!

Help me with my Math Projecy, PLEASE?!? Okay so, my teacher assigned us an assignment. We have to make a project of any sort that has SOMETHING TO DO WITH MATHS. It can be any type of project. But it also has to be an activity. It'll be up on display in an exibition so people can play, and use it. It also has to be of low or no cost. We aren't allowed to invest much on it. We can, however, use used posters, charts, newspapers, papers, and etc. to create it, BUT WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PURCHASE FOR THIS ASSIGNMENT. So far I have no ideas AT ALL. Some people are making geometrical fortune tellers, etc. so i can do something like that but IT HAS TO BE AN ACTICITY, AND IT HAS TO BE OF LOW OR NO COST, AND IT HAS TO DO SOMETHING WITH MATH. Please give me ideas. I'm desperate. This is the first time I'm on yahoo answers. HELP!

do you know a little game caled paper fortune teller? do you know a little game caled paper fortune teller?do you have any ideas about what can i write below the numbers? its important!i made it for a girl and its real cute...

this is such a stupid joke? This man was at the fair, waiting for his girlfriend to arrive. Looking at his watch he saw that he was about 5 minutes early, so he decided to kill the time by going to see the fortune-teller. He wasn’t really impressed as for £5 all she did was look at his palms, gaze into her crystal ball, and look at random tarot cards, letting out the occasional ‘hmmm’. Finally losing his patience, he asks her what she sees for him. She scribbled a couple of sentences on a piece of paper, making sure he could not read what she was writing, folded the paper up, handed it to him and said “Do not read this until you are about to die.” He was slightly confused but thought nothing of it, so he put the paper in his pocket and looked at his watch. Seeing that he was now late he hurried out of the fortune-teller’s tent and met up with his girlfriend. When he found his girlfriend, now really annoyed at him, he explained that he was early so he went to see the fortune-teller. She didn’t believe him so he got out the folded piece of paper and told her what the fortune-teller had said. His girlfriend grabbed the paper and said, “well can I have a look at it then, she didn’t say that nobody else could read it, did she?” “Well I suppose it couldn’t hurt,” he said, so she unfolded the paper and read it. When she finished she folded the paper up, shoved it into his chest and slapped him around the face. “I never want to see you again you *******, I’m taking my stuff out of your flat and leaving for good. We’re finished!” He couldn’t believe it, she stormed off towards the bus stop and he was left standing there with this piece of paper. He was devastated and didn’t want to stay anywhere near the fair so he decided to go to the pub and drown his sorrows. After several pints, and getting towards closing time, the barman decided to see what was wrong with him. “I can’t believe it,” he said, “one minute I’m getting on fine with my girlfriend, the next minute she After several pints, and getting towards closing time, the barman decided to see what was wrong with him. “I can’t believe it,” he said, “one minute I’m getting on fine with my girlfriend, the next minute she slaps me and dumps me.” “Come on, surely she didn’t dump you for no reason,” the barman said “Well I can’t think of anything, she just dumped me after reading this piece of paper that the fortune-teller gave me” “And what’s so bad about this piece of paper?” “I really don’t know, she told me not to read it until I’m about to die” “Well can I read it?” asks the barman “Okay then, it can’t do any more damage than it has one already” So he hands the paper to the barman who unfolds it and reads it. He throws the paper back at the man and shouts “Alright, get out of my pub, I don’t want to see you around here no more!” With this the man picks up the paper and staggers outside. He strolls back to his flat where he is welcomed by his landlord, who looks very After several pints, and getting towards closing time, the barman decided to see what was wrong with him. “I can’t believe it,” he said, “one minute I’m getting on fine with my girlfriend, the next minute she slaps me and dumps me.” “Come on, surely she didn’t dump you for no reason,” the barman said “Well I can’t think of anything, she just dumped me after reading this piece of paper that the fortune-teller gave me” “And what’s so bad about this piece of paper?” “I really don’t know, she told me not to read it until I’m about to die” “Well can I read it?” asks the barman “Okay then, it can’t do any more damage than it has one already” So he hands the paper to the barman who unfolds it and reads it. He throws the paper back at the man and shouts “Alright, get out of my pub, I don’t want to see you around here no more!” With this the man picks up the paper and staggers outside. He strolls back to his flat where he is welcomed by his landlord, who looks very He strolls back to his flat where he is welcomed by his landlord, who looks very concerned. “I’m sorry but your partner came here earlier, threw loads of stuff out the window and left with several bags and suitcases, there’s hardly anything left in your flat.” The man jus takes a seat on the doorstep and starts crying. “What’s up mate, was the break up that bad?” the landlord asks. “No, it’s not just that, since I saw the fortune-teller earlier, nothing good has happened, my girlfriend dumped me, I got barred from the local pub, and now this.” “Why, what happened at the fortune-teller’s?” “Well she gave me this piece of paper and told me not to read it until I’m about to die” “Can I read it?” he asks, “Go on then, I just don’t care anymore” so he gives the piece of paper to his landlord who proceeds to read it. When he’s finished he gives it back to him and tells him “I’m not surprised your girlfriend did this, get away from my flat, I expect the rest of this months rent by the When he’s finished he gives it back to him and tells him “I’m not surprised your girlfriend did this, get away from my flat, I expect the rest of this months rent by the end of the moth, I’ll throw the rest of your stuff out to you asshole!” He woke up the next day about 3 hours late for work, so he drove in, as he was, and pleaded with his boss not to fire him. After explaining the extreme events of the night before, his boss asks to see the piece of paper. “Are you sure you won’t just get mad and fire me when you read it.” “Don’t be silly,” his boss replied, “no piece of paper is going to make me fire you.” So he reads it, hands it back and points to the door, “YOU’RE FIRED!” he bellowed. Not wanting to aggravate the situation he leaves and heads for his best friend’s house. When he gets there his friend invites him in and offers him a shower and some lunch. More than grateful, he accepts. While eating the lunch he tells his friend about the previous days events, the fortune-telle While eating the lunch he tells his friend about the previous days events, the fortune-teller, his girlfriend leaving him and trashing his flat, the barman barring him, his landlord kicking him out, and his boss firing him. “Well if you seriously aren’t going to read it until you’re about to die, can I see it?” asks his friend, “we’ve been best friends since we were little kids, no piece of paper can ruin that,” He agrees and lets his friend read it. This piece of paper, however, did manage to ruin their friendship. His friend kicked him out of his house and told him the next time he wanted to see him was in the obituaries. He was almost reduced to tears again. Seeing that the only people who would see him anymore were his family, he decided to drive up north and see them. He arrived at his parent’s house late in the afternoon, and after telling them the recent events they offer to let him spend some time there until he finds a new job and place to live. After several hours of talki After several hours of talking he asks them to read the paper and tell him if they thought it deserved the reactions he had been getting. At first they declined, as if it was that bad they too could disown him like the rest, but he assured them noting in the world could do that, which they agreed with. They both read it and all of a sudden his mother burst into tears, and his father stood up with a look of sheer menace on his face. “You are a disgrace,” he proclaimed, ”I have no son! Now get out!” he took the paper from his father as he left and drove to the only family he had left - his sister. She had company when he arrived but seeing him in such a state she did what any big sister would do, sent her friend home and told her brother to make himself at home. He told her how their parents had kicked him out, how his best friend now hates him, how he was dumped, fired, evicted, and barred from the pub all since his visit to the fortune-teller just the day before. So she let him stay t So she let him stay the night and would go out job-hunting with him the next day. The next day, however, he was woken by his sister screaming at him. “I read that damn piece of paper of yours and I hope you get the chance to read it soon. Mum and dad were right, you don’t deserve to be a part of this family. Now piss off!” he scrambled out of bed, got dressed and left for his car, with his sister stopping him to slap him and shove the paper into his pocket. He drove back down south to where his ex-girlfriend lived, as she was the only person he could still talk to, but she had moved. Deciding that his life was as good as over, he went to the army to see if they had anything to offer, they were going to allow him to become a soldier until they read the paper. So he tried the air force, and exactly the same thing happened. As a last resort he went to see if he could join the navy. He explained to the enrolment officer just how desperate he was, and that he didn’t care what he had He explained to the enrolment officer just how desperate he was, and that he didn’t care what he had to do. The navy representative asked to see the piece of paper to see what all the fuss was about, and after reading it, like all others who did, rage took over. However he controlled himself, bit his tongue, took a deep breath and said “okay, I can offer you something, as you are so desperate, it’s a two month survival training programme where you will spend this time alone on a desert island. After the two months we will collect you, if you have survived that is.” “Yes, Yes, thank you. I’ll take it.” So they take the man off to this island and leave him there to survive on nothing but the natural resources. Which he does, surviving off the fruits, fish and small animals on the island. The 2 months passed but the navy did not show up to pick him up, 3 months passed and still no sign of them. 6 months passed, a year passed, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years and still no sign of any resc So they take the man off to this island and leave him there to survive on nothing but the natural resources. Which he does, surviving off the fruits, fish and small animals on the island. The 2 months passed but the navy did not show up to pick him up, 3 months passed and still no sign of them. 6 months passed, a year passed, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years and still no sign of any rescue. Eventually, after 15 years on the island, all the natural resources on the island had been depleted. There was no more food left, and the only water hole left was across scorching desert on the other side of the island. So he started his long trek, over burning sand in the intense heat of the sun, towards the only saviour on the island. Weak, dehydrated, and on the brink of death he crawls to the top of the final sand dune. He picks his head up to look at his destination, only to find a small puddle where the water hole used to be. To his despair, the only water on the island that could save his life . To his despair, the only water on the island that could save his life has dried up. He rolled onto his back, watched the pair of vultures circling above him, and thought to himself ‘this is it, I’m going to die.’ Remembering the instructions given to him all those years ago by the fortune-teller, he decides to read the paper. With his last ounce of energy he reaches into his pocket, pulls out the piece of paper, unfolds it, holds it up, and a big gust of wind blows it away. The End he decides to read the paper. With his last ounce of energy he reaches into his pocket, pulls out the piece of paper, unfolds it, holds it up, and a big gust of wind blows it away. The End sorry it took so long to finish to everyone who says its stupid THATS THE POINT win ten points by guessing what the paper says the whole point of the joke is to waste someones time

Just 4 Fun? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

if you ansewr all of these you will get ten pionts plus then more piont by another question? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane? Can you cry under water? If a man alone in the woods said something would a woman still say he was wrong? Can Bald people have Hairline fractures? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? f you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic? Why are dandelions considered weeds when daisies are considered flowers? Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? Whenever an adult is kidnapped why isn't it called adultnapped?? Why do blacklights look purple? Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, hat, town, or his pony Macaroni? Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them? How come the Bible is the most stolen book, and one of the ten comandments is "thou shall not steal"? Why isn't the caps lock capitalized? If there's a hole straight through the earth, from the south pole to the north pole, and you jump through it what would happen? would you keep falling forever, or fall back down when you get to the middle, or is it physically impossible? If someone with a nostril ring takes it out, then blows their nose, do they have to cover that hole as well as their nostril holes so that snot does'nt blow out everywere? Isn't it weird that if you rearange the word "teacher" you get "cheater"? How come whenever you start to sing, you automatically sing in a higher voice than you talk? How come people say they ate the last piece of gum, when they really just chew it? If a pope goes to the bathroom, is it considered holy crap? You know the saying "throw ya hands in the air like ya don't care"? why bother doing that if you dont care? Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple? If "Fantasy Island" really granted wishes, why wasn't Tattoo 6'6" ? Why do water bottles have a "best if used by" date? If you called the police station to talk to an officer and he was not there, would that be considered a cop out? Can bald people get a hair line fracture? Why do they put holes in crackers? How come on TV the bell always rings and then the kids go to class, but in real life you need to be in class before the bell rings? Why can the saying "it's all downhill from here." mean both that it will be easy and that it is going to get worse? If all of ACME's products backfire, why does Wile E. Coyote keep buying them? Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing? If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach? Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread? Does a baby feel the umbilical cord being cut off? Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"? Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads? Why can't liquor freeze? If you dig a hole in the south pole are you digging up or down? How come they don't add the time that we are in our mom's to our age? Why do people squint their eyes when they can't see? Wouldn't that just make it less space to see out of? What is a hacky, and why is it in a sack? Who was in the kitchen with Dina? Why do we have to pay a toll on "freeways"? Why do they call them pepperoni if there is no pepper in it? How old does something have to be to become an antique? Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework? Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on? Do babies produce more spit than adults? How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes? Do cows have calf muscles? Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not? If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players? If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke? Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets? If you died with braces on would they take them off? If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time? Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters? If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself? Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot? Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread? Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice? How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown? Have ex-punsters been expunged? Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional? Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed? Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted? Have ex-bankers become disinterested? Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards? Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission? Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream? Don't you have to get up to get to the tape? Why is the word "abbreviate" so long? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto? Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor? Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC? Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light? Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one? Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after? Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? no they don't wanna be right and i thought it would be fun to get a free 20 pts bu ti guess not ok if you won't anwser them tell me you favorite ok since SOME ppl have anwered i will let the voting deside then woh ever wins will ge the ten extra point thx for reading ( .ps i got this from www.bored.com in the humor section)

Short Romance & Marriage Jokes 2? THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, it's my Mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I was married 3 times," explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first two wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my third wife died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame," said his friend. "How did it happen?" "She wouldn't eat the mushrooms." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look Miss," said the foreman, "Have you any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bob's greatest achievement was his brood of six children. In fact, he was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife "Mother of Six", despite her continual objections. One night at a cocktail party, Bob decided it was time to go home and shouted across the room, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His irritated wife hollered back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. "My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!" the shaken man told the cop. "The car hit you from behind," the officer said. "How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?" "I recognized the laugh!" he replied. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ad seen in paper: FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea." The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life." "But I'm not getting married until tomorrow," protested his nephew. "I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, "STOP! STOP! You're not going to cut it off, are you???" The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man wakes up his wife during the night with a glass of water in one hand and two aspirins in the other. She asks, "What's this for?" "This is for your headache," he says. She says, "But I don't have a headache." He smiles and says, "Gotcha!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joe said, "Know what, Charlie? I killed 5 flies yesterday, 3 males and 2 females." "How could you tell them apart, Joe?" asked Charlie. Joe replied, "That was easy. The 3 males were sitting on a case of beer and the 2 females were on the phone." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover." "Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla. "But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded. "He did. That's why I have to take every precaution." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Smiths were dining out when his wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. "Honey," she said as she pointed the guy out, "That guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." Her husband said, "That's silly, no one celebrates that much!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nature has many laws that hold fast and true. For example, a baby ape will always grow-up to be an ape; likewise, a baby baboon will become an adult baboon. A baby pig will mature into a full grown pig. A baby jackass will always become a jackass. A puppy quickly matures into a dog; a mongrel pup develops into a cur. Yet oddly enough, women say a young man may grow-up to be any one of these. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Roger was fed up with his wife, so he packed up his stuff and moved into the garage. Although he couple seldom spoke, he continued to mow the lawn, take out the garbage and fix the car, while she cooked the meals, vacuumed and did the laundry. Months later, Roger met his friend Don for drinks. "Things don't seem to be working out any better," Don remarked. "Why don't you just move out?" "Well, if you really want to know the truth," Roger explained, "she makes such a damn good neighbor." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Worried about their less than exciting sex life, a young wife sent her husband to a therapist who wound up treating him with self hypnosis. And, to her joy, everything got much better. However, she could not help but notice that each night, early into their lovemaking, the husband would dash out to the bathroom for several minutes. This tormented her until finally, one night, she followed him. There, in front of the mirror, she found him applying this therapeutic technique: "She's not my wife... She's not my wife...She's not my wife..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rex's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty-thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it." ---------------------------------------- A man said his credit card was stolen, but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. ------------------------------------------ First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet, "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous." Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" Wife: "In the pool." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Overheard: "Has your husband lived up to all the things he said before you were married?" "No, He's only lived up to one of them." "Which one was that?" "He said he wasn't good enough for me." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom, and you can hold down a full time job, prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so." That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she laughed to herself and said, "I don't freaking think so!!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It is two o'clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when suddenly the phone rings. The husband picks up the phone and says, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" He promptly slams the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband replies, "I don't know, it was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A couple comes upon a wishing well. The wife leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. The husband decides to make a wish, too. But he leans over too much, falls into the well and drowns. Stunned, the wife smiles broadly and exclaims, "It really works!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This place is a mess! C'mon, You and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and if we don't do laundry right now, you'll have no clothes to wear." What a Man hears: blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW blah,blah,blah,blah,blah, NO CLOTHES -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A lady sought out a fortune teller. The fortune teller tells her, "Be prepared for widowhood. Your husband will soon die a violent death." The lady asked, " Will I be acquitted?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four." Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!" Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fall off. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the state lottery!" Martha replies, "Should I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man says, "I don't care. Just as long as you're out of the house by noon." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "It's just to hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- While at the fairgrounds, a woman wanted to take a ride on the Ferris wheel before heading home. Her husband waited while she took a spin. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the woman was thrown out. She landed in a heap at her husband's feet. He gasped and bent down. "Are you hurt?" he asked. "Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two men are playing golf when a funeral procession passes by on the street next to the green. One of the men takes off his hat and holds it over his heart. When the procession has passed, the other man says, "That was a nice gesture." "Well," the first guy says, "After twenty years of marriage, it was the least I could do for her." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the grey hair on his chest and they except that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants and see if you can get disability!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "We're doing some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two women were talking, when one said to the other: "Do you ever talk to your husband when you're making love?" "Yeah," replied the second, "But only when he telephones!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath, and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in a six o'clock in the morning!" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to," replied the husband, "But I don't know her well enough." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Video game help!!! i WILL select best answers.? This is 2-in-1 question. u only have to answer 1 of them if u want. 1.OK, in the Legend of Zelda:Oracle of Ages, what do you do after the kid starts making a raft and says he'll be done by the time you get a sea-chart? I went into the future, and got the kagaroo its gloves. i can't figure out what to do from then on. 2.In Super Paper Mario for the Wii, after you escape from Merlee's Mansion, and get the pixil, Slim, where do you put the Pure Heart? I made my way to this wierd block with a music note on it, that the fortune teller told me that i would get past it "with the help of a pixil friend", but i tried everything, and nothing worked!!! PLZ answer.

thing to ponder. ( a lot!!!)? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

Random! I know..! But what do you think of this dream? So last week i went to a nice little Greek island called Paxos. and one night i had the randomest dream EVER! So me and my brother had a joint party at my house. and this randomo from across the street invited himself to my party. He gave me a small package shaped like a 3D diamond, kite thingy. You could unfold it to make a fortune teller thingy (you know those ones you put your fingers in?) and it was tiny. it had tatty teddy wrapping paper. i opened it and there was a plastic witches finger on a string and a bottle of milk. my parents had no clue who he was. So they took him to his house (which was a shed..?) which he shared with his grandma and his emo brother. my mum asked them why he came to my party. She said theres a competition. Me and my mum were confused. His emo brother said with orange mobile. Then i woke up.... How random is this dream?..?..?

Anyone for webkinz trade???!!!? Anyone want free webkinz items? i want to trade with peoples and i NEED the 1. ATV 2.ANY RARE ITEMS 3.GO CART 4.BOWLING ALLEY 5.WATER PARK 6.LAMBORGINIE I have the......... 1. Purple lava lamp 2. Hot air balloon 3.Husky Bed 4. Pig's fortune teller 5. Ice Cream Tree 6. Neon Tree 7. Hippo's Tub 8. Love puppy's Couch 9. Frog's Water Bed 10. Bull Frog's Chair 11. Panda's Fridge 12. Monkey's Couch 13. Funky Chair 14. Rice paper room dividers 15. Yorkies Couch 16. Two year Two trophies 17. Eight Apple Chairs 18. Four Orange Slice Tables 19. Rare Country Living THEME 20. Fruit Hat 21. Vortex Storage unit now if you want to trade add me my user name is missfroggy95 and write on here what you got and what you want love yall kassie

Things to ponder? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

I was on a holiday and was suddenly spoken by an Indian man on the street (Sydney)? He says that I have a great luck in 2009. I am not sure if he is an authentic fortune teller or not. But, he read my palms and told me about what had happened in the past years. He also predicted my future though briefly. He is well-dressed and wore a pair of glasses. What he did was amazing - handed me a piece of paper in my hand and did something like magic ! I am still puzzled about this. Then, he gave me pieces of stones, bracelet, and his phone numbers in Australia & in India. I am so confused as there is no one like him in my country. Can he be true or just a scammer ? Have you (or your friends) had experiences like this ? I appreciate all your comments. But, I found that Danielle was just kidding me as she told me in her email saying "dude". Anyway, I thank you for your answers.

questions!? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?