Mystical Angels

My parents says the fortune teller can determine my sexuality.How do you think of them? I am 22-year-old gay man. I know I am gay since I am 6. I have come out to everyone except my parents are relatives. I have been studying in Australia for several years . Now my university semester has finished and I go back to Hong Kong (my hometown ). Recently my parents suspect I am gay. Everyday, they say a lot of words ( e.g. f*gg*t, loser,manwh0re, j*rk) when they say they suspect I am gay. " Why can't you be heterosexual ? All your cousins are heterosexual . Why can't you turn yourself into a straight man ? Where did you learn to be a gay man? In Australia ? Do people in Australia turn you gay ? " I answered. They say "Homosexuality is a disese. You need to cure it if you are really gay." I always reply " Homosexuality is not a disease " . However, my parents never listen to me and throw things at me every day ( when they are angry that I may be a gay man ) They say " Parents only offer their love to children if children promise that they'll be heterosexual in their whole life" My parents say " If you are really gay, you shouldn't go back to Australia to study after holiday. It will only make you even more gay" They say " We'll ask our fortune teller if you will be turned straight again in Australia. If he says yes, you can go. Otherwise, you must not go. Fortune teller can determine or change your sexuality Remember we sponsor you some of your school fees " They said " You gay boy have no right to go back to Australia without the permission of our fortune teller " They say all my life achievement will become zero once I confirm I am gay in front of them. They say"We invest lots of money to bring up you but now you may be a gay man. What a shame and disgrace to us and everyone.You shoul drop from school now and stay in Hong Kong.Edcuation is only for heterosexual people and what gay people can do is to find jobs" They keep on saying those things to me everyday. I feel depressed when they say I am worse than a piece of sh*t because of my gayness. Recently I've found that I am more vulnerable to cold/ flu than before. I don't know why. I've got more headache than before as well Q.1) HOW DO YOU THINK OF MY PARENTS ? DO YOU MENTALLY SUPPORT ME TO GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA AND CONTINUE MY STUDIES( I try to support myself financially in Australia ) ? Q.2) Do you think I'll be less competitve in the society if I discontiune my university studies at this stage( and find a full-time job instead) ? Q.3) I will confirm my gayness in front of my parents once I am financially independent.Do you mentally support me ? I miss my gay-friendly buddies in Australia. Unlike my parents, they are always on my side . They give me lots of emotional support

Have you ever used your eraser as a fortune teller? You know.....you write yes, no , maybe on the sides and ask it a question and roll :P or was that just me ?

I went to go see a fortune teller, what did I do wrong? I don't know where to post this Today I accompanied my mother to her hair stylist appointment, and noticed that across the street was a fortune teller/physhic reading place. I was bored and curious to know what they where all about it, and interested to see what my reading holds (I've never been to a fortune teller before). Well long-story short, I crossed the street, went to the door of the place (it said open, and cars where parked there). The door knob was closed, so I rang the bell that was there. And then I heard like this hard angry yell, and stomping, suddenly the door opened and this lady asked me if I wanted a physhic reading I said yes (but I also wanted to know prices) Before I could say anything else she said very angrily to come another day that there are no readings today and literally slammed the door right on my face. Did I interrupt one of her readings or something? I was to shocked to do anything (i.e. call her a b****), and scared she looked like a gypsie and I don't want to be cursed. Is this normal from them? Yea it's all fake, but I was bored and curious. She didn't even ask for my money, I wonder if it's a cover to sell drugs. lmao The house was on an intersection, like brand new type of office/house building, looks like a fancy real-estate office. And there where about 3 cars parked there and the sign said open. Also I had about $18 in my wallet and a credit card, unless she doesnt take plastic.

What do you think of this prolouge? Prologue “Come on’ Kourt, give it a shot for your best buddy please?”Vanessa asked. Her eyes were pleading for me to pay fifteen good dollars, just to see a fake fortune teller. “Vanessa, that stuff is fake. And you know my mom would never agree to me paying for something that has to deal with the supernatural!”I cried. Vanessa had talked about this for the last half hour, jumping up and down, her long blonde hair flying out of her ponytail. Her blue eyes popping out of her head like a fish. But, there was no use for her excitement. I wasn’t gonna pay to see the fortune teller. “But, Kourtney listen! This is your first carnival cruise ever for spring break. Why not make it memorable?”Vanessa argued, beginning to get annoyed by the situation. I thought about what Vanessa said. I hesitated for a moment before I replied. Once again, she won our argument as every other time. Whether is was about hair, clothes, boys, etc., she always won. “Ok, but only once. This is it!”I repeated my statement to make sure she understood. Not that Vanessa was stupid, I just didn’t wanna promise her something I couldn’t or wouldn’t do. I looked for my brother Nikko. I spotted him with his Buzz Lightyear action figure in hand. I gave him a smile and he waved back his toddler sized hand. Vanessa tugged my shirt. “Kourt I hate to interrupt your family reunion but, we have a fortune teller to see!” “Calm down, Vanessa. God, sometimes you can act like Nikko!”I cried as we both laughed once she realized she was going insane. “Are you ready now? Are you completely back from planet Let’s-Become-a-Five-Year-Old?”I asked. Vanessa sarcastically said, “Um, give me about another thirty minutes to think about it. That planet was fun!” We walked to the fortune teller’s room, Vanessa and I bumping into other people. I saw Zaria playing with the claw machine, trying to win a new cell phone. She missed her prize, and basically threw a temper tantrum with her loud mouth scaring elderly people. Mom caught her and pulled her away. I could hear her say, “Honey, why don’t we try another game?” We finally reached our destination. I opened the door and found a slightly dark room with a crystal ball. I wasn’t a voodoo woman myself but, I felt some negative energy. “I have to do this for Vanessa.”I thought. I turned to the orange painted walls that were slowly aging day by day. The color was starting to fade and I wondered when this room was built. “Hello there.”The voodoo woman said as she tapped me on my shoulder, her accent sounding like she could speak the Arabic language. I turned to see the voodoo woman’s face. She had wrinkles that made her look like she was seventy years old. Her long purple skirt covered her legs down to her feet that needed lotion. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail that reached her elbows. Her green eyes waited for me to reply. “Hi. Are you the fortune teller?”I asked. No, she was the voodoo woman’s secretary who just tapped on people’s shoulders, to creep them out. Of course, she was the voodoo woman. “I am not…”the voodoo woman started. Now, I was starting to have second thoughts about who the woman was. “…a voodoo woman. I am a fortune teller.”The “fortune teller’s” green eyes started to turn red as she glared at me. “I’m sorry to disrespect you, fortune teller.”I said. From her eyes, I didn’t want to get on this lady’s bad side. Her eyes cleared and they quickly became green. Her anger erased. “Would you like to have your fortune told?”She asked. “Yes!”Vanessa screeched. “Then, that will be fifteen dollars.”The fortune teller said. Vanessa and I pulled fifteen dollars out of our pockets. I handed the money to her, feeling her hard hands. The fortune teller smiled as I gave her the money. “Take a seat.”She said. Vanessa and I both sat at a table to small for all of us. Now, the lights went completely out, and the fortune teller stared at me with an idea in mind. “I will grant you, only you, one wish.”She said as she put her hands on the crystal ball. I looked shocked at her. “Do you believe I will grant your desire?”She asked. “Honestly, no.”I quickly answered. “Hmm, I will prove you wrong once you state your wish.”She challenged. Vanessa said, “This is great Kourtney! You can wish for whatever you want!” I thought about my wish. I wasn’t gonna wish for a Xbox or anything, I needed something important. Then, it came to me. “I wish, for immortality!” I said. I read about it in a book called “Evermore”, and it seemed awesome. The fortune teller looked surprised. Her crystal ball glowed. “Is it a wise wish?”She asked as she winked. “Yeah, it’s not like it’s gonna happen anyway.” The fortune teller smiled, her yellow teeth shining from the crystal ball. “Ok, then Kourtney Kay. Your wish has been granted.” How the hell did she know my name? “Ok, now can you tell me my fortune?”Vanessa asked. “Yes, take a seat.”The fortune teller answered. Vanessa and I switched s

Why am I being charged with a crime I only did the will of the lord? A man or a woman who acts as a medium or fortuneteller shall be put to death by stoning; they have no one but themselves to blame for their death. (Leviticus 20:27 NAB) I saw a fortuneteller at a circus I asked her if it was true that she was a fortune teller she said yes I then bound her at took her to my church tied her to a tree and stoned her to death.Why am I being charged with a crime?

Does He Like Me……??? So....there's this dude. I'm a dudette and I liked him since the 2nd day of school. He used to (or still maybe does) liked my best friend. I'm like friends with his best friend....( A.K.A. a boy ) and I think nothing more than him then friends. ( Cuz my best friend likes him ) An my best friend does not like the dude I like. So anyways yesterday I went to my friends house and we downloaded this horoscope app and it has this fortune teller thingy ( I know you might think it's stupid and be like what are you 7 but please no smart allecs. ) and we can only ask yes or no questions and so far it's been right about the answers. I asked if the boy I liked was gonna talk to me tomorrow, and it said yes. And it was right he did talk to me ( I asked that because we barely rarely talk. ) And I was sitting down talking to me friends as usual...then he came up and said,"Ooohhh Locker symbols!" then I said,"Don't look at my combination!" But in a smiley happy way. Then couple mins later he saw my huge eraser and asked if he could see it. Of course I said yes and he was making me and my friends laugh while he was pretending like it was a football throwing it. ( Not literally ) Then gave it back. He's like the class clown so the teacher called him outside the classroom to talk and while he was walking out he was doing some funny dance that made like everyone laugh. And before we were at a assembly and he sat next to me but we didn't say a word. But stared at me while tying my shoe. ( Everyone did kinda, lol. ) and about the fortune teller thingy,I asked it does ______ like me, and it said yes. Then sometimes it says maybe then yes but mostly maybe. So opinions???

any one know a good magic website? i wonder if there any magic web site & Fortune Teller stuff but not the one u ask yes or no question there is Fortune Teller that tell u stuff like what is going to happened & like that not yes or no i hope u help me with a site very soon i need it for a thing XD !!

What do you think of this solution to the question whether or not 'god' exists ? Why don't we ask the fortune teller machine from 'nick of time' from the twilight zone ? He can only answer 'yes' or 'no', says so on the sticker.

what do u think? EASY 10 points?? is this fate or no? ok so there was this girl at school and we started being friends recently & i NEVER thought we would be friends but now we're BFFs lol anyway it turns out her family is close friends with this family who has a kid @ my school & in my grade then out of the blue his mom started saying how we should go out & stuff and one time on a vacation they took they went to a fortune teller & asked if we would get married......she said yes I thought it was just a coincidence but now its weird bcuz i think he likes me al of a sudden & i think im starting to like him.....I'm not even sure y i like him i just do also now the whole family knows & likes me they started treating me like part of the family for example the guys sister is always saying how I'm like her sister & the guys little brother treats me like the way a little kid would treat a big sister & the parents both think im going out with the guy & they like me....actually they liked me b4 anyway lol ok now here's y i think it might be fate: 1. the parents both have jobs in industries I wanted to go into when I get a job & stuff 2. they have the kind of life I always dreamed of having (probably just coincidental) 3. the parents are the exact kind of people I always wanted to have when I got married & had in- laws 4. suddenly this guy and I (i think) like each other and we barely even speak to each other 5. this pretty much all started cuz I randomly became friends with this one girl 6. We've borrowed stuff from each other like friends or family members do what do u think?? lol sry its so long by the way

I am gay and feeling stressed becasue of my parents. What should I do ? I am 22-year-old gay man. I know I am gay since I am 6. I have come out to everyone except my parents are relatives. I have been studying in Australia for several years . Now my university semester has finished and I go back to Hong Kong (my hometown ). Recently my parents suspect I am gay. Everyday, they say a lot of words ( e.g. f*gg*t, loser,manwh0re, j*rk) when they say they suspect I am gay. " Why can't you be heterosexual ? All your cousins are heterosexual . Why can't you turn yourself into a straight man ? Where did you learn to be a gay man? In Australia ? Do people in Australia turn you gay ? " I answered. They say "Homosexuality is a disese. You need to cure it if you are really gay." I always reply " Homosexuality is not a disease " . However, my parents never listen to me and throw things at me every day ( when they are angry that I may be a gay man ) They say " Parents only offer their love to children if children promise that they'll be heterosexual in their whole life" My parents say " If you are really gay, you shouldn't go back to Australia to study after holiday. It will only make you even more gay" They say " We'll ask our fortune teller if you will be turned straight again in Australia. If he says yes, you can go. Otherwise, you must not go. Fortune teller can determine or change your sexuality Remember we sponsor you some of your school fees " They said " You gay boy have no right to go back to Australia without the permission of our fortune teller " They say all my life achievement will become zero once I confirm I am gay in front of them. They say"We invest lots of money to bring up you but now you may be a gay man. What a shame and disgrace to us and everyone.You shoul drop from school now and stay in Hong Kong.Edcuation is only for heterosexual people and what gay people can do is to find jobs" They keep on saying those things to me everyday. I feel depressed when they say I am worse than a piece of sh*t because of my gayness. Recently I've found that I am more vulnerable to cold/ flu than before. I don't know why. I've got more headache than before as well Q.1) HOW DO YOU THINK OF MY PARENTS ? DO YOU MENTALLY SUPPORT ME TO GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA AND CONTINUE MY STUDIES( I try to support myself financially in Australia ) ? Q.2) Do you think I'll be less competitve in the society if I discontiune my university studies at this stage( and find a full-time job instead) ? Q.3) I will confirm my gayness in front of my parents once I am financially independent.Do you mentally support me ? I miss my gay-friendly buddies in Australia. Unlike my parents, they are always on my side . They give me lots of emotional support

I am a gay man and I'm feeling stressed becasue of my homophobic parents. Help, please ? I am 22-year-old gay man. I know I am gay since I am 6. I have come out to everyone except my parents are relatives. I have been studying in Australia for several years . Now my university semester has finished and I go back to Hong Kong (my hometown ). Recently my parents suspect I am gay. Everyday, they say a lot of words ( e.g. f*gg*t, loser,manwh0re, j*rk) when they say they suspect I am gay. " Why can't you be heterosexual ? All your cousins are heterosexual . Why can't you turn yourself into a straight man ? Where did you learn to be a gay man? In Australia ? Do people in Australia turn you gay ? " I answered. They say "Homosexuality is a disese. You need to cure it if you are really gay." I always reply " Homosexuality is not a disease " . However, my parents never listen to me and throw things at me every day ( when they are angry that I may be a gay man ) They say " Parents only offer their love to children if children promise that they'll be heterosexual in their whole life" My parents say " If you are really gay, you shouldn't go back to Australia to study after holiday. It will only make you even more gay" They say " We'll ask our fortune teller if you will be turned straight again in Australia. If he says yes, you can go. Otherwise, you must not go. Fortune teller can determine or change your sexuality Remember we sponsor you some of your school fees " They said " You gay boy have no right to go back to Australia without the permission of our fortune teller " They say all my life achievement will become zero once I confirm I am gay in front of them. They say"We invest lots of money to bring up you but now you may be a gay man. What a shame and disgrace to us and everyone.You shoul drop from school now and stay in Hong Kong.Edcuation is only for heterosexual people and what gay people can do is to find jobs" They keep on saying those things to me everyday. I feel depressed when they say I am worse than a piece of sh*t because of my gayness. Recently I've found that I am more vulnerable to cold/ flu than before. I don't know why. I've got more headache than before as well Q.1) HOW DO YOU THINK OF MY PARENTS ? DO YOU MENTALLY SUPPORT ME TO GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA AND CONTINUE MY STUDIES( I try to support myself financially in Australia ) ? Q.2) Do you think I'll be less competitve in the society if I discontiune my university studies at this stage( and find a full-time job instead) ? Q.3) I will confirm my gayness in front of my parents once I am financially independent.Do you mentally support me ? I miss my gay-friendly buddies in Australia. Unlike my parents, they are always on my side . They give me lots of emotional support

DarthRaider666's Anime Poll #124? First of all, I’m FINALLY level 6!!! =O w00000t!!! >:D Now I can vote 20 more times than when I’m level 5! *celebrate for 2 minutes with muffins and cupcakes* ^_^ Whew! Now let’s get down to business… *required 15,000 more points from level 6 to final level* O_O Errr….. No. >.< But anyway……… As time goes by, do you think the number of anime fans around the world will consistently increasing, decreasing, or stay constant? A) I think increasing… My instinct tells me that anime will, one day, be overpopulated. o.O B) I have a bad feeling for some reason…that it’s decreasing. *sniff sniff* =( C) I think it’ll stay kinda constant. I asked my fortune-teller about it. ^_~ D) *check the cheat sheet* Dang I don’t know the answer! >.< “ E) What is anime???? >:O RAWR!! XD F) Sorry, but I don’t like anime. >.> G) Me will not understood these questionz… (errr… Wrong address dude) I will pick…… Umumumum….. G? >:P (jk jk jk, I’m positive this is the right address, lol) I say choice C ‘cause… I’m a fortune-teller myself! >:P (shuddup, you’re just jealous…MUAHAHAHA!!! *cough cough*) One more thing: Did I mention cookie iz good? (::)!!! XD ________________________ BTW, since I’ve seen few other polls with “Interesting Facts” in them, I feel like doing the same too. =P I’m gonna see how people gonna “shockingly” react. >:P (…From what I’ve researched, they’re all fat, I mean FACT) 1) It is true (through many studies) that “being random is good for your brain and soul”? @_@ Source: Britannica Encyclopedia *waiting for reaction* Just kidding!!! >:D Fall for it? =P A) Oh god… I did fall for it… Dang you Darth!!! >:( (*Darth grab a pillow and water bottle for protection*) B) Nope. lol. C) Errr…. I just read on without thinking about it. >.< D) In fact, randomness IS good for your brain and soul! =D *start acting crazy* 2) No more joking question, lol… Do you believe that Pantene conditioner has wax/plastic in it, making your scalps itchy and hair fall off? A) Yes… I think. XD Gotta stop using Pantene!!! B) NOO!!! My hair doesn’t fall off and my scalps aren’t itchy!! C) I don’t know… =( To be continued… For the TRUE answer!!! >:) Yay Riku! XD But yeah....... It seems like the other C&A regs are down.....by a lot. =( If you haven't notice: C&A = Comics & Animation regs = regulars = those who appear in a certain category for a long time

What does this dream mean? Alright, so all I remember was my sister was telling mum that song people were walking through our backyard, and I saw them when they were walking past my window. I asked them what they were doing, and they replied that they were cutting through out yard to get home. I asked why they didn't just go around, and they said that this was the only way. As they went to leave, I told them to stop, so that I could ask them some questions. I asked whether they were fortune tellers or what, because they were dressed in flowy outfits like gypsies. A man and a lady. The lady was mature with dark red hair, and the man had glowing blue eyes, and kinda warped in my vision. I said, "Well, if you're not fortune tellers, are you....reapers?" And she said, "Reapers... Yes, I think that sums us up." When they left, I started getting scary visions, whenever I opened my curtains. My window was scrawled with horrible drawings and stuff like Fuck You, Die, Death, etc. It unnerved me at first, but then it got progressively worse, spreading over the walls and ceiling. I screamed when I saw the last day, and started crying. I screamed at them to leave me alone, because they said they only punish bad people and I hadn't done anything wrong. ~ I woke up after that feeling sick. I haven't had a nightmare like that before. I just went to bed at 9, and had the dream after 12am, when I woke up in the middle of the night... If you can, please answer seriously... I duhn want no trollz.

Attention Polls and Surveys! Only answer 9-10 of these, please? I found my tools of Augery and I'm able to resume business, I may not look like much, but I'm a fortune teller, you know. Of course you're free to believe whatever you will. Shall I tell your fortune? This one's on the house! Very well, then. Answer these questions and try to be honest! Ready? Here we go... What do you do when you see a crowd gathered? I go see what's going on I'm curious, but ignore it I couldn't care less What if important to you in making decisions? My gut instinct Whether it's fun or not Past experience How would you hold an expensive cup? With one hand With two hands I wouldn't What do you say when asked to take a leadership role? I accept, of course! I'll give it a try I don't want to do it What do do when you disagree with a friend? Try to persuade him/her Think it over Simply give in Do you believe in fortune-telling? Yes No Just the good parts What is your gender? Male Female You didn't do your homework. Why? I was watching tv It was too hard Aliens attacked What do you say when you see a famous painting? How wonderful! The light! The lines! How much does it cost? Is your desk clean and organized? Yes No It's spotless! What do you think of when you look out the window? I want to go out and play I want to ride a cloud It won't rain today What type of books do you like to read? Dramatic novels Practical books Comic books What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with a stranger? Scream for help Talk to the person Silently wait for help What's important in life? Money Love Money and love If you looked up the sky, what do you think you would see? The sun The moon What do you do when you're in trouble for something you don't remember doing? Just apologize Ask why I'm in trouble I don't worry about it What would you do at a concert by a band you aren't interested in? Try to enjoy the show take a nap Check out the crowd What do you do when two friends get into a fight? Pick a side Try to clam them down Yell at them What do you think of when look inside your wallet? It's very orderly Oh no! I'm broke! I'm poor, but oh well What would you say if your wife said which is more important, work or me? You, my dear I'm not sure Money's the top priority! What would you do if someone you idolized stood next to you? I'd smile at them I'd glare at them I'd remain expressionless How would you travel if you were alone? Wander around freely With a careful schedule Decide things on the spot You go out only to find you've forgotten your wallet. What do you do? Nothing, I'll manage Go home and get it Silk about it What time of day were you born? Day night I don't know Do you feel the power of the sun or the moon? Sun Moon What do you find hard to deal with? Cleaning up People Pressure If you cooperated properly I'll give you a fortune tailor-made for you ♥

scary dream please help? This dream was very detailed so this might get long. I just want to start out by saying im 14 weeks pregnant with my second baby and that it might have something to do with it. Okay so first it started off i was in what seemed like New York city in this dream i felt like i was there. I went into a place that was a nail/fortune teller place (ive never been to a fortune teller) And i was sitting in one of those pedicure chairs when she began to read my palm. She said not to order a pizza today because i would win a free pepperoni pizza 2 marrow. (this sounds crazy but please keep reading) then she said i would meet a new girlfriend (friend) and that we would be very close. Then all of the sudden While in the salon/fortune tellers place i had what seemed like a vision i was still in the salon but i saw the ground turn to little stones and pebbles and there were torn apart dolls. Like pieces of them. So i told the fortune teller what happend and she took a picture. And on this screen were 3 ghosts around me. Children it seemed like 2 boys and girl and i told her that i was sorry what happend to her dolls. Then this part gets tricky and scary. I saw a cartoonish looking pig. Start throwing things everywhere. Then this guy who was i guess was a palm reader or new about these things was there. And i just wanted to say that my boyfriend was outside waiting for me. Then the guy said these three ghosts were demons. I saw there eyes turn yellow red. And then all the sudden this guy tried to get them away from me. I asked him if i was going to be okay he said no so i asked him if i was going to die and he said yes. And then i asked him who was going to kill me and he said one of the guys out there he pointed outside and there were a gang of thugs like standing next to a van looking at me. it was so detailed i saw all there faces the van everything. And then there was this one guy. He looked to be spanish or latin decent he was tan kind of short and he was leaning against the van (i saw this through the palm readers door) he had a new jersey devils shirt on (kinda weird) and was staring at me. This guy told me i was going to do and so was my hubby and his dad. I asked if my son would die he said yes so i went to the lady fortune teller and she said no he would be fine. So at this point my boyfriend is in the salon place with me. They told us seven people would die. Then all of the sudden the guy in the devils shirt told his son to come see me. His son must have been maybe 4 (my sons age) and he was covered in blood. And i asked why and his dad told his son to go clean up and kind of hit him in the head slighty with his cap. Then i walked back in the store and saw a demon covered in a full black robe take my hubbys mom so fast i could barely see. then i woke up. this is long but im freaked out! please help

Do I really have a love spell on me or is there a such thing? well i live in ny and there are always loony fortune tellers on the street trying to get you to pay for a reading. and one day as me and my friend was on our way to McDonald's i bumped into this guy who stopped me and asked me did i just get out of a rocky relationship which i did and i said yes. he asked me another question which also made sense to me and agreed and he told me finally dat someone put a love spell on me and i needed to come with him so he could pray and light candles for me which i was i was all for until he started to tell me i needed a certain amount of money dat i didn't have i tipped him a dollar and walked away laughing with my friend. ever since i had dat encounter i couldn't help but wonder if what he said had any truth to it. i've been breaking up and making up with the same guy for 5 years and no matter how hard we tried we just couldn't get it together. and every time we broke up i never found anybody new even though he always did. im not an ugly girl and if i may say so myself im very charming. im single now and is having a hard time finding a mate. Should i look further into this or should i just forget about the whole situation and just wait until i find somebody for me?

is this a sign does it mean it is going to happen? i need help is this like a sign or something? ok so i really like this guy and he is always flirting and its like we flirt sooo much everyone is asking if we r 2gether. kk so then i asked him if he liked me and he said he doest wan to get into a relationship cause he got dumped 2 many times this year and while he was saying that i was like im my mind do u like me or no beacuse he didnt give me a yes or no answer i didn't ask him cause he was like 6 in. away from me like then our bodies would hav been touching and the teacher came in. soo i had this dream that we were together i guess and then we went for this walk and we were like holding hands i guess and then we went to this fortune teller and she said that in real life we will be 2gether and that we will last forever! so that was my dream and i need 2 no if thats like a sign cause in my family wen we hav dreams it mostly comes true especially mines soo ya

i need help is this like a sign or something? ok so i really like this guy and he is always flirting and its like we flirt sooo much everyone is asking if we r 2gether. kk so then i asked him if he liked me and he said he doest wan to get into a relationship cause he got dumped 2 many times this year and while he was saying that i was like im my mind do u like me or no beacuse he didnt give me a yes or no answer i didn't ask him cause he was like 6 in. away from me like then our bodies would hav been touching and the teacher came in. soo i had this dream that we were together i guess and then we went for this walk and we were like holding hands i guess and then we went to this fortune teller and she said that in real life we will be 2gether and that we will last forever! so that was my dream and i need 2 no if thats like a sign cause in my family wen we hav dreams it mostly comes true especially mines soo ya

random jokes! very funny...looool? Customer: Waiter, do you serve crabs? Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone. Customer: Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste? Customer: No, I can't. Waiter : Then does it really matter? Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup. Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers. Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much. Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller. Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing? Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again? Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time. Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no. A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda." Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time? Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will. Customer : I bet you, it won't. Post Master : Why not? Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai. An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.' 'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. 'How long has what been going on?' said the man. Girl : Do you love me? Boy : Yes Dear. Girl : Would you die for me? Boy : No, mine is undying love. 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions. Man : How old is your father? Boy : As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy : He became a father only when I was born. Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field" Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field Teacher : How? Student : Ladies first. Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card. Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!" "That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room and tell me about it." "Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."

Some light jokes !!!!!!? Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to London. Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ~~~~~~ A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda." ~~~~~~~ Customer :Waiter, do you serve crabs? Waiter :Please sit down sir, we serve everyone. ~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste? Customer:No, I can't. Waiter:Then does it really matter? ~~~~~~ Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy!Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!" "That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room and tell me about it." "Well, "began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science." ~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup. Waiter:Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers. ~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much. ~~~~~~ Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card. ~~~~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? ~~~~~~~ Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller. ~~~~~~~ 1st thief :Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief:But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief :Hurry! this is no time for superstitions. ~~~~~~~~ Man: How old is your father? Boy: As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy: He became a father only when I was born. ~~~~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing? ~~~~~~~ Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time. ~~~~~~~ An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.' 'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. 'How long has what been going on?' said the man. ~~~~~~~ Girl : Do you love me? Boy:Yes Dear. Girl: Would you die for me? Boy :No, mine is undying love. ~~~~~~~~ There was a brilliant student and his General Knowledge (*GK*) was excellent. He won every GK Quiz he took part in .... Then one day he fell in love with a girl... He proposed the girl, but she flatly rejected him The poor Indian fellow was heart-broken. . Strangely, after this episode, he became very weak at GK, he stopped taking part in GK Quizzes..... Now, can u tell WHY ??? Jab Dil Hi Toot Gaya Toh GK Kya Karenge!! ~~~~~~~~ Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband:Sure, what are my choices? Wife :Yes and no. ~~~~~~~ Good Question sSam ?....i don'T choose the best answer the voters choose it......anyway. Thanks...to all

som light joke with high kick!!!!? Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ~~~~~~ A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda." ~~~~~~~ Customer :Waiter, do you serve crabs? Waiter :Please sit down sir, we serve everyone. ~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste? Customer:No, I can't. Waiter:Then does it really matter? ~~~~~~ Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy!Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!" "That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room and tell me about it." "Well, "began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science." ~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup. Waiter:Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers. ~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much. ~~~~~~ Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card. ~~~~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? ~~~~~~~ Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller. ~~~~~~~ 1st thief :Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief:But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief :Hurry! this is no time for superstitions. ~~~~~~~~ Man: How old is your father? Boy: As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy: He became a father only when I was born. ~~~~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing? ~~~~~~~ Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time. ~~~~~~~ An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.' 'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. 'How long has what been going on?' said the man. ~~~~~~~ Girl : Do you love me? Boy:Yes Dear. Girl: Would you die for me? Boy :No, mine is undying love. ~~~~~~~~ There was a brilliant student and his General Knowledge (*GK*) was excellent. He won every GK Quiz he took part in .... Then one day he fell in love with a girl... He proposed the girl, but she flatly rejected him The poor Indian fellow was heart-broken. . Strangely, after this episode, he became very weak at GK, he stopped taking part in GK Quizzes..... Now, can u tell WHY ??? Jab Dil Hi Toot Gaya Toh GK Kya Karenge!! ~~~~~~~~ Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband:Sure, what are my choices? Wife :Yes and no. ~~~~~~~ Which Gender is Intelligent ? A Proof of which Gender is Intelligent An English professor wrote the words: " A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.. All of the males in the class wrote : "A woman, without her man, is nothing." All the females in the class wrote : "A woman: without her, man is nothing." Punctuation is powerful!!

What do you think is going to happen in blood promise from Vampire Academy? I know this question has been asked only a million times but i want new answers. Keep in mind i just finished shadow kissed like less then an hour ago (of course i just happened to be flipping out that entire hour because of what happened) so i haven't been giving it that much thought, only an hours worth. -I am pretty sure Rose's mom is going to travel with her on her trip. Also i doubt Lissa, Christian, and Adrian; possibly Eddie; will continue with school after Rose's little decision. I think they will insist on going with her, dragging Lissa behind, because she didn't seem that willing to follow the girl who just abandoned her. (no pun intended) -Something is going to happen between Adrian and Rose. Rachelle could always pull a house of nights novel act and end up rose saving demetri and being stuck between two guys. but either way, she wouldn't have pointlessly added the last part of the whole promise to Adrian thing if she wasn't aiming to make something of it. Also i think she is going to be in need of some serious help, have no one to call, have a flashback of when Adrian said that if she ever needed anything just to ask him, and then call him and that may lead to some affectionate feelings toward him. -i think that the fortune teller is going to show up again and help her out an awful lot. either by reading her cards or saying some little thing that will turn out to be a lot bigger at the end. (kinda did that in shadow kissed to, i know) -I dont think that Mason actually moved on to (after-life, heavan, hell, paradise; whatever you believe, no pun intended again) I think everyone needs rose to die for them to move on. Wich would make sence about the part where Andre (lissa's borther) had pointed at her then into the black whole leading to (heaven, hell, after life ect ect ect) And the reason why everyone she sees died after the car accident, because they are going to her for help. so they might not want revenge, but they might still want her dead, so they can move on. Kinda like the whole bigger picture, destiny, fate sortof idea. Meaning destiny has to fall back into place for everything to go back to normal, Mason may have just said yes and everything that happened to him to try and make rose somewhat happier after everything he went through. If not then i really have no idea why they would want her to go back, thats just kindof mean and pointless. Ecspecially someing from Andre and Lissa's family seeing how close they are to Rose, and know how much that would put Lissa through if she did die. PS. We really have no proof of Demetris death, so we shouldnt all be to quik to judge, even though im in the same boat as you guys and think demetri turned strigoi or 'died' tell what you think, about my opinions, and about what you predict, im really interested died

A few Light Jokes............. No Abuses PLZ? Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ~~~~~~ A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda." ~~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste? Customer:No, I can't. Waiter:Then does it really matter? ~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup. Waiter:Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers. ~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much. ~~~~~~ Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card. ~~~~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? ~~~~~~~ Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller. ~~~~~~~ 1st thief :Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief:But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief :Hurry! this is no time for superstitions. ~~~~~~~~ Man: How old is your father? Boy: As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy: He became a father only when I was born. ~~~~~~~~~ Customer:Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing? ~~~~~~~ Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time. ~~~~~~~ Girl : Do you love me? Boy:Yes Dear. Girl: Would you die for me? Boy :No, mine is undying love. ~~~~~~~~

Am I Pregers? Does she like me? Help me with my homework? Jesus people, can you find some original questions? Which is your favorite question to write a rude or crude remark to. When someone asks, "ewe does he like me?" I just want to tell them how the F%*# am I suppose to know, I live in LA and you live in NY, Jesus I'm not a magical fortune teller, I don't even know you. Chances are if your wondering yes or no the answer is probably yes!!! Ha ha ha.... Comments?

Does my story sound okay? <Lol, please don't get scared; I know it looks long but it's really a short story. I'd appreciate it if you cared to take a look...> For english, we're supposed to write our own mythical stories and because I'm not a good writer or something, I came up with the following story. If there's anything that should be added (preferably something witty or funny) or fixed, please let me know. One day in the hot and sunny town of Oakville, a girl was playing with her toys on her front lawn. “Clo-ver!” Her mother’s voice called. Clover rolled her eyes and ran to to the kitchen. “Yes, Mother?” “Ah! There you are! Listen, I need you to go to your grandmother’s; she’s going to give you a recipe for me. And while you’re at it, why don’t you return this locket to your grandmother,” She hands a shiny silver locket to Clover. “It’s definitely hers, I just found it in my old coat’s pocket.” “Yes, mother.” Clover replies with a tired voice. Clover sighs as she leaves the house, wanting to go back to the heated food fight between Mr. Whiskers and Mrs. Cuddles. Sometimes she just wished she was free from responsibilities and she could do anything she wanted. A couple of dogs ran past her, and thought that if being an animal was the ticket to freedom, then so be it. She walks through the small alleys of the small town, which are stuffed with merchants and fortune tellers with their stands. As she is about to turn to her grandmother’s street. A man accidentally bumps on her, making her fall. “Ow!” She cries as she hits the ground, dropping the locket. She struggles to get up with all the people around her. But all she can see are the quick feet around her. And the fact that all the steps together are making dust clouds isn’t helping. “Out of the way!” “Get up, girl!” The people exclaim around her. Clover rises with a feeling of guilt and anxiety deep in her throat. The locket is gone! She walks away from the busy crowd and tries to make up a plan. “It’s useless!” She says to herself. “Nothing’s going to make that locket appear again. But, oh! The madness that is waiting for me at home!” And just as she heads to her mother’s to tell her the news, a voice stops her frozen on the spot. “Not so fast there, girl; I saw what happened.” Clover turns around to find no one, and then she looks down. A cat with velvety black fur and green eyes stares back at her own. Clover pinches her right arm. Ouch! Definitely not dreaming. “Do you want some help or not?” The cat hisses at her. “Who are you? How can you talk? Where did-” Clover begins. “I’m Cleo, and I’m a magician stuck in a cat’s body if that’s what you were going to ask.” The cat interrupts. “I can perform a couple of tricks with these paws, believe it or not. I saw that you’ve lost that precious silver locket you were carrying. I know a a spell that’ll bring it back sound and safe.” The cat then added a big smile that looked kind of friendly and sinister at the same time. Clover, not even hesitating replied, “Yes, please, kind...cat!” Cleo smiled even wider and then said, “May I remind you, not all things in this world are free and easy, I do want something in return.” “What?” Cried Clover with a pout. “What do I have that I can give you? I’ve got nothing!” “Yes, you do, silly girl. Look at yourself and then back at me, what have you got that I don’t?” Clover looks down at herself and than at the cat. “Clothes?” She guesses. The cat jumps. “No! You’ve got hands and feet! A body. A real body!” “So?” Clover shrugs. “So we can trade bodies and in return, the locket will be all yours.” Clover stops and thinks for a minute, and she realizes that her freedom wasn’t so far away! If she trades bodies, she would be a cat, and that means no school and chores forever! And plus, she’ll get the locket back and make it back home in no time. She smiled as she thought of the many benefits she would get and nodded. “As you wish, little girly.” Cleo smiles and Poof! As a cloud of dust disappears, there’s a beautiful young lady in place and a brown scruffy cat next to her. And with another Poof!, a silver locket appears in the woman’s thin hands. “A promise is a promise, silly girl.” And with no other words, Cleo drops the locket next to the cat and leaves. Clover realizes that she is, indeed, a cat and purrs in delight. It isn’t after a couple of minutes that she realizes that there is no way on earth she can deliver her grandmother’s locket or return home to enjoy her freedom as cat. And as she attempts to cry for Cleo, she also realizes that she can’t even talk, not in human language anyway. And that is why there is paper with a picture of a brown and shaggy haired girl on a wall with lots of candles around it and an alley known as the “Alley of the Melancholic Cat” in which a cat that “has always been here” resides. Or so says a beautiful young lady with black ha

What do you think of my first Chapter? Chapter 1: Tightening my coat, I walked over to the front desk. As I signed in my name, I said,” Anne, please tell Dr. Alexandru that I won’t be able to help him with his morning surgeries.” She nodded. “All right Dr. Vane.” She started to dial a number. I took my signed papers and handed it to the other clerk. I grabbed a case file and headed to the clinic. Ok, I need to go to clinic one to do a check up on a surgery. I nodded and walked into the first clinic room. “Good morning,” I said looking over the file and heading for the small chair. “So, it says here that you’re doing a check-up on a surgery you had a few weeks ago. Is that right?” “Yes, that’s right,” he muttered. I got my stethoscope and rolled my chair towards him. “All right, breathe in,” I said moving it across his back. “Breathe out.” I recorded what I heard onto the case file. “So, Mr.,” I said looking for his name. “Justin,” he interjected. “Justin Vane.” I sighed and rewrote his name onto the paper. I smiled and looked up at him. “Well Mr. Vane, it seems that the surgeon has done a great job. Let me just check a few more things and you’ll be already to go home,” I said. Suddenly, his phone began to ring. He looked at the phone excitedly and I gestured for him to do it quickly. I looked down at my papers and began to write. “So, what is it? Did you find anything,” he asked. There was a pause and he began to nod. “So, her name is still Alice Vane, she’s a doctor and she works in Saint Mary’s?” Another long pause. “Well, that’s great. I’m already here. Thanks so much Jake!” I heard his phone close quickly. Why is he looking for me? I shook my head and grabbed a light and a Popsicle like stick. “Say ahhh,” I said. “Your mouth and uvula look fine.” I wrote on my file. “Ok, so, Mr. Vent, you’re doing fine. Just remember to keep taking your medicine.” He nodded and I started to walk out. But just as he began to close the door he asked,” Hey doctor, do you know a doctor here by the name of Alice Vane?” Before I walked off, I turned back and muttered,” You just met her Mr. Vent.” Then, my pager began to ring and I ran for the stairs with Jason yelling,” Wait up!” I shook my head; I have other patients to deal with right now. I started to get frustrated until I reached the level to which I was being paged to. I burst out of the stairway and ran to the room. I quickly snapped on my gloves. “Alice, thank you for finally coming,” Dr. Alexandru said. I sighed and quickly tied on my mask. “What’s happening,” I asked quickly. “Her surgery went well, but, it seems as if the sewing wasn’t that good. It opened up right when she was beginning to eat. We need to get her to the OR,” he said quickly. “Do you need me to do something,” I asked. “No, not at this moment Alice, just get going with your other patients, I’ll take care of her,” he said putting towels on top of where she was bleeding. “Chloe, put her in OR one and prepare everything. Clark, give her some sleeping gas rather than anesthesia,” he yelled. I took off my gloves and mask and walked out. I’m so tired, I shouldn’t have ran. I silently walked to the bench and took a seat. “Dr. Vane,” Justin yelled. I sighed. “What is it Mr. Vane?” He stopped running for second. He seemed shocked. “You don’t remember me do you?” I started running the name Justin Vent into my mind. My heart stopped for a second. I quietly gulped. “No, I don’t remember,” I lied. “I have a very short memory.” He looked at me intently. “You’re lying,” he muttered. I flinched slightly and gave out a forced nervous laughter. “No, of course not.” “I can see it in your eyes, you’re lying,” he muttered. I frowned. “Are you a fortune teller or something?” I grabbed the patient’s file and started to summarize what was happening. “Alice, you can’t lie to me,” he insisted. I signed the papers, put it away, and whispered angrily,” Haven’t you hurt me enough?!” I slammed my files onto the bench and walked away, leaving him standing there like the last time. Please tell me what you think. If you want to read the prologue to understand more, go to my other questions and you'll find it there. Thanks for answering in advanced. Like I said, the details about everything is in my previous post which is my prologue. Read that first if you're confused about everything. She's not going into a surgery. Only surgeons scrub in before going in, and that's only for surgery. And, I haven't actually read over my work yet and I was working on this late at night. And I know all about this. I know a lot of doctors and nurses.

Helen Mirren: "Britain has become a rude, bitter and angry nation"? Agree or disagree with Dame Helen? I agree. All you have to do is come on Yahoo Answers to see that people are condescending or jump to conclusions and become agitated and rude. I work in customer services and the people who call our office and unimaginable rude. Sometimes I feel like i'm dealing with a bunch of yobs. One woman called in and said "Is this a premium rate number?", I said "Yes!" and she replied "Can you call me back?". I said "Unfortunately not Madam, it is an inbound call centre" and she started shouting "My monies running out on my phone, this is disguting! this is rediculous!". I said "I could give you the address if you prefer to write in". Her response was "How long is this going to take?" (as if I was some kind of fortune teller). I said "It can take anything up to five days!". She started huffing and panting and asking me to call her back. In the end I said "there is absolutely NO way I can call you back whatsoever. I am not authorised to do so and any grievance would be subject to the five day period to allow time to investigate. Would you like the address to write to madam?". She hung up. People are so bitter and unaccommodating!

I am asking this again cuz I got no answers: I need serious help! I don't WANT to be like this!? I feel like there is so much depresion in my life, and I cant handle any more of it! I am starting to blurt personal stuff out at school. I have always been great at keeping secrets, now I can't keep my own. I regret almost everything I say, and I know if my family knew people knew it would be horrible. I keep digging my nail into my wrist and hurting myself to distract myself from other pain. Mental pain. I want to kill myself even just to make the pain of living disapear, but I cant! I finally got up the nerve to tell someone all this and more (my mom) but she tells her boyfriend ev-er-y-thing! Plus she took me to a therepest without telling me! I responded to this by staring at the clock and crying for an hour, refusing to speak and refusing to let my mom tell anyone anything about me. I know I probably need help, but I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone, especially not some stranger. I speak through my writing. Yes, I do write; and I love it. It's the only time I dont feel trapped and scared and miserable. That and horse back riding. But sometimes I don't feel like it, and I just freak and have an anxiety attack. Or sometimes I just can't, having the same result and making me hurt myself to concentrate on physical pain instead of mental. I think I am going emo now to. And I don't want to be emo. I was always that shy, quiet girl who was noisy and loud around friends. Now I am that private in-her-own-world girl. One minute I will be loud and having fun, next someone says something and I am punching the wall, causing my hand to turn red to keep myself from crying right then and there. I am loosing all my friends too. The other day at school, I was goofing around and made one of those fortune tellers. Well my friend used it and did it to this guy in my grade, and he said all the answers were emo. I can't forget that now. I took the fortune teller from him, ripped it up, kicked a chair, and walked away. I stayed quiet and depressed the rest of the day, then school let out and now it's spring break. The thing is, I don't WANT to be like this. I fight it. I don't want to be/seem emo, I don't want to hurt myself, I don't want any of this. I so desperately want life to go back to how it was two years ago. I guess I really only act emo-ish and wear dark colors. I don't listen to emo music or anything else. But I still feel like I am turning emo. And I really don't want to. So my question is, how do I change this? Don't say therepist. That is NOT an option. I really need to know how I can get rid of these dark thoughts. Is there a way? Also I am 11-years-old. My moods also change real quick. One minute I will be perfectly calm, next I am screaming at my big brother for no real reason. I also can't get a proper amount of sleep. I will sleep from 1am till 5pm, no sleep for over 24 hours, etc. I haven't been to sleep before 12 in weeks. Sometimes I remember things that never happened too. I think I may of had a life before this one, as crazy as it sounds. I feel things that I shouldn't because nothing happened to make me feel that way. I sing melodies I don't know and have never heard. I remember things that aren't from this age. It is so creepy. I can send my writing to the therapist, but I really don't want to talk to some person I barely know about my feelings and all. Doing something I love really helps, as well as listening to certain songs. But writing only sometimes helps. What I really love I can no longer do, and that's ride. Horseback ride.

Fortune teller site? Just for fun.....? Can you recommend a free fortune teller website? I'm thinking of maybe a site that works like one of those Crazy 8 Balls that you ask a questions ("Will I win the Lottery tomorrow?", shake the ball, and then it comes up with something stupid like "Maybe", "Definitely Yes", "Ask again later." etc. Thanks, Mr. *blinks at picture* umm... Resistor. O.O

Fortune teller wanted? I was wondering if you could do my fortune. Im a libra i think... lol well i like this girl she put out alougt of signs she liked me but my freind asked her out for me, when i diddnt ask and she said yes and i told her what happened. and now shes been ignoring me, whats going to happens were not going out i ended their Rockstar my older brothers in her with me, he read your wanting about job hes not a fortune teller but hes a un-licnesed counsler he sent you an email offering to counsel you jade thanks, you know alot about zodiac signs

Do you believe in fortune tellers? London, Aug 23 (ANI): A rare footage has surfaced on the Internet showing scenes from Kate Middleton's school play, in which a fortune teller tells Prince William's girlfriend: "Soon you will meet a handsome man, a rich gentleman..." The footage, filmed long before she was being tipped as a royal bride, has just been posted on the web-sharing site YouTube. Kate was 13, a pupil at St Andrew's prep school in Buckhold, near Pangbourne, Berkshire, when she took the lead role in a production of Murder in the Red Barn, reports the Daily Express. In the play, the fortune-teller takes her hand and tells her: "Soon you will meet a handsome man, a rich gentleman..." Kate says: "It is all I have ever hoped for. Will he fall in love with me?" The fortune-teller replies "Indeed he will. Then Kate asks "And marry me?" He confirms "And marry you." She then asks, "Will he take me away from here?" The fortune-teller replies "Yes, to London." Even more amazing is that her character does indeed meets her Prince Charming and his name is William. He proposes to her tenderly on bended knee. To which she replies: "Yes, it's all I've ever longed for." Kingsley Glover, who played the William in the play, tells the filmmakers: "It was great fun to do." In the play, Kate is dressed in a flowing white gown with black lace detail. (ANI) Edit: Bear, "applied guesswork" my foot! Perhaps she prayed that one day she would meet her true love? Perhaps someone prayed that a sweet Welshman would meet his true love? Perhaps, just perhaps, prayers are answered.

Whom should I believe? The fortune-teller lady or the magic 8 ball? During the summer, I spent as much time with my best friend as possible because we were finally going having different schools from each other. There was this one time in her house that we were so bored we got her magic 8 ball and began asking questions. She asked "Will my best friend have a boyfriend this school year?" and the magic 8 ball replied "it is certain". She was all excited for me and began asking another question "Will he be a new student?" and the magic eight ball said "yes". I was like "woah. ok watever" and stuff like that. Months has passed and high school without my best friend sucked. I was, though, KINDA lik going out with this guy. He likes me and I like him (yes. he's the guy the magic eight ball was talking about. He was a new guy in school) but I haven't answered him yet if we should be bf and gf. Anyway, I was with some other girls one day in the shake place (a hangout we go after school) and a lady was saying that she was a fortune teller and she has predict she has predicted a lot of things that have came true. She told me stuff(lets skip to the love prediction). She said my soulmate's name begins with letter M or J because my name begins with the letter N. But the guy's name doesn't begin with the letter M or J. It begins with T. So who's right? Are even one of them right?

Did you ever used your eraser as a fortune teller? YES and NO on either side. Then you'd ask a question, then flip it over to reveal your destiny? I would keep flipping it until I got the answer I wanted. :) Woops. Use*

is this fate? or is it just a coincidence? ok so there was this girl at school and we started being friends recently & i NEVER thought we would be friends but now we're BFFs lol anyway it turns out her family is close friends with this family who has a kid @ my school & in my grade then out of the blue his mom started saying how we should go out & stuff and one time on a vacation they took they went to a fortune teller & asked if we would get married......she said yes I thought it was just a coincidence but now its weird bcuz i think he likes me al of a sudden & i think im starting to like him.....I'm not even sure y i like him i just do also now the whole family knows & likes me they started treating me like part of the family for example the guys sister is always saying how I'm like her sister & the guys little brother treats me like the way a little kid would treat a big sister & the parents both think im going out with the guy & they like me....actually they liked me b4 anyway lol ok now here's y i think it might be fate: 1. the parents both have jobs in industries I wanted to go into when I get a job & stuff 2. they have the kind of life I always dreamed of having (probably just coincidental) 3. the parents are the exact kind of people I always wanted to have when I got married & had in- laws 4. suddenly this guy and I (i think) like each other and we barely even speak to each other 5. this pretty much all started cuz I randomly became friends with this one girl 6. We've borrowed stuff from each other like friends or family members do what do u think?? lol sry its so long by the way

Do you believe in the following? Why or why not? 1) Tarot Cards 2) Seances 3) Jesus 4) God 5) Ouija Boards 6) Magic 7) Psychics 8) Fortune Tellers Yes, a couple can overlap each other, but I kind of wanted to differentiate between a general idea and a more specific one sometimes. I'm purely curious on this matter. I would be curious what belief system the answerer had, but once I asked that and people said "what difference does it make".. so it's up to you if you want to answer that part. Thanks :)

Uh... I dont know wuts gonna happen......????plzzz help me!!!? Ok, I asked a fortune teller on the computer if at the next bball game then my cruch would tell me that he liked me.. and it said YES! So I know that it might not happen, but I really hope it does... here 2nite on Valentines day I cant stop thinkin about him!!! PLZ HELP ME!!!

Are there any real dream interpreters on here? to give you a little background I am a week and 1 day late on ? my period, I was supposed to get it on the 25th of August.. I took a pregnancy test already and its negative.. so I dont know what is wrong with me but anyway..Last night I had a dream that I took a day off work and went to the city to see an old psychic and fortune teller. I asked her if I was pregnant and she said Yes.. (my test said negative in real life).. so in my dream I got super scared because I have miscarried once already..in my dream I was also wondering why my test said negative if I really was pregnant....it was a disturbing dream... then she said she had something really bad to tell me... and I thought it was about me but it was to tell me that a DJ who is close to me was going to pass away.. and I remember thinking it was my cousin who she was talking about... and then I paid her and left....any thoughts or knowlede on what this can mean???????please dont play around with your answer act like an adult.... thanks!! When the psychic in my dream told me someone close to me a guy was going to die soon, I remember thinking it was my cousin who already died a long time ago....maybe this was my way of convincing myself nobody else would be dying.. ?????? or making myself feel safe like everything was okay?

What does my dream mean? I had a dream that I was in a field and i was with some people. Also in the field were 2 male ghosts. And a fortune teller was telling the ghosts fortunes so I walked up and said "Can you tell me my fortune?" So she said yes and looked in my eyes then said "He's waiting for you." And i asked "Well, is that a good thing?" and the fortune teller smiled and said "Yes." Can you please tell me what my dream means? Thanks

why is he advoiding me? he sent me a text the other day, b4 i saw the fortune teller, and he asked if i was ok, so i said yes im ok, but what about us, then he didnt reply, then couple days he texted me saying F**** off, dunno what i done or said wrong ... shall i leave him alone 4 gd or what?

BF Question!!!!!? ka so im 13 i was playing with a fortune teller online with a friend and i asked it allot of perverted questions about me and my boyfriend. i asked it if we would ever have sex it said yes and i asked it if it would be this summer and it said yes. i asked it allot more too. it was really scary because all the answers like connected. well now ive been thinking of having sex with him. is this wrong? should i feel ashamed? should i try to have sex with him? if so what should i do?

How do u like my sisters story i know its long its some of the first chapter and the preface there are also a few wrongs she spelled wrong lol she meant to put ears n instead she put ears it's a little long but please read it all i would have made a link but im not quite sure how do do that sorry. Preface It all started a long time ago back when the world was one and its people lived side by side and lived for thinking of others before themselves. Back when there was no war and no destructive leader. Back when people could speak there mind and not be killed on sight. Well, that was a long, long time ago. It all started with two princesses both of them very beautiful and loved by their people. They were sisters. They loved one another. But corruption soon took its role on them. Princess Sophia had hair as bright as the sun on a summer’s day, she had hypnotizing blue eyes, and nearly always held a smile. Princess Rosaline had hair as dark as a pine tree’s bark, her lips a faint pink, her green eyes only brought more beauty to her. But when she smiled everyone couldn’t help but smile with her. When a baby was born that would have unthinkable power there would always be a strange birthmark on their left shoulder in the shape of either a lily or a rose. There were only myths about the rose birthmark, it being so rare, the rose birthmark had only been heard through myths and tall tales throughout the years. The day Sophia was born she bared a lily but Rosaline had a mark of the rose. Many fortune tellers told prophecies of the sisters when they were just toddlers. Some told of how both sisters would be extremely wise and love everyone in the kingdom, others told of how both sisters would protect the kingdom from any monster that dare to try to harm it. Both wrong. The one everyone should’ve listened to was a prophecy that was told by a crazy old woman , the true prophecy, “ Yes both princesses will grow to be beauties of the kingdom, but heed my warning, A princess shall betray the other, kill her and the kind king and queen, she will bring with her a army of darkness,” Her voice grew tired and crackly yet louder at the same time. Her gray scraggly hair flowed with the wind, her mole only barely noticeable, her pale wrinkled skin seemed less fragile then normal as the old women finished the prophecy. “There shall be a great battle of good and evil, fire and ice, one will die, the other shall bring only more misery and pain to the kingdom, she shall rule for four hundred years. She will kill anyone that dare cross her. But one day when we are long dead, everyone but the queen, and our great-great-great-grandchildren will only know misery and suffering there will be hope. On her sixteenth birthday, a young woman shall come, she will kill the queen and our kingdom will once again be safe, she shall give her life to save us all and she shall prevail. She will be the queen’s sister reincarnated. The ice princess. Heed my word for I have seen the future! All will be lost all will be destroyed, please listen to me!” The old women pleaded with the villages that were listening to her, such pain and sorrow in her eyes. Yet none of the villagers believed her, most walked away. “The princesses will love each other you daft old hag, what is one prophecy against a thousand?” said a villager. All the villagers that were left shook their heads in agreement…… They should have listened to the old woman… they should have listened. As the girls grew older their powers became clear, Sophia had the power of fire, but Rosaline had the power of ice. When Sophia was eighteen and Rosaline was sixteen the old woman’s prophecy came true. No one knows why Sophia hated her parents and sister so, no one but Sophia herself, and her sister Rosaline. Sophia rode after Rosaline as she fled for her life. Eventually they came upon a iced over lake, both girls stopped as the ice began to crack. Rosaline got off her horse, Sophia did the same. Rosaline knew that she was going to die, but before she did she placed a curse on her sister. Her voice was kind as it always was, such a innocent voice, but filled with a great sadness, “Dear sister I forgive you for what you are about to do to me, but not for what you shall do with this world, one day, four hundred years from this very day I will come back for you, and destroy you.” Rosaline stood there she looked unafraid, so calm and peaceful, but still you could tell her sadness from a hundred miles away, such a strong sadness. Sophia laughed, a evil sickening sound. “I’m about to kill you sister, tell me how you will come back and destroy me?” “I will have a reincarnation, it saddens me that she will have to die as well.” And with that Sophia killed her sister, no one knows how exactly all they know is that she was dead. That same night the old woman that had told everyone the true prophecy died in her sleep. Sophia took charge of the kingdom. The peaceful kingdom was doomed. Four hundred years have passed since then. My name is Rochelle, and this is my story. Chapter one “Rochelle!” I heard the innkeeper say. She was shaking me in my bed. “Rochelle you must get up!” my head was still dizzy from sleeping all day but I could still recognize the panic in the woman’s voice. My mother. I couldn’t tell why she was so frightened I quickly sat up on the hay bed and looked into her eyes. She had the kindest face I had ever known, her hair was already gray and she was only in her early forties. She had laugh lines and barley noticeable wrinkles along with a double chin. And she had tears in her pale blue eyes. I loved this woman more then anything. And she was so panicked. “What is it mother?” I asked her in a groggy voice. “The queen, she is coming my daughter!” She yelled. “Why?” I asked her, now I was completely awake. “The queen fears the prophecy will come true she is stopping at every village and checking all the backs of the young women for the mark of the rose. “Then why are you so scared mother?” I asked her. “The queen is killing all the girls even if they do not bare the mark.” She replied studying my face. “I cannot bare to loose you my child.” A fresh tear fell silently down her cheek and onto my hair. “But there is nothing we can do mother.” I calmly said, looking down. Even though I said it calm my heart was racing so fast and loud I feared she could hear it. “You must run.” “What!” I yelled, “I cant mama I cant.” “You must, she took my husband and my son I will not let her take you.” She pulled me close to her, snuggling my head into her chest and resting her head on mine. I could feel her tears dripping on my head now. “I will not let her take you.” She repeated. I pulled away from her, her face was a blotchy red now. “Mother what will happen if she catches me?” I asked her already knowing the dreaded answer. “Then she will kill you my daughter.” A new wave of tears fell down her cheeks. “But then you would have at least tried.” I looked at her again and I knew that I had to try for her sake. But I also felt it in my gut that something terrible was about to happen. “For you I will try.” I smiled a weak smile then hugged her. “Rochelle I will only be able to tell you this once so please listen carefully.” “Yes mother.” “You will walk north in the town then you will find the forest, keep heading north until you find a waterfall, then you must head east until you reach a village. Do not tell anyone your name, at the dead center of the village you shall find a small yellow cottage, give this to the man that will answer,” she pulled a small, dirty pouch from her apron handing it to me. “Do not look at what is in this pouch until you reach the cottage. Promise me you wont.” “I promise mother.” “Keep It hidden, no one but the man in the cottage can know about it nor see it.” I didn’t really know what to say so I nodded. “You must survive no matter what.” I nodded again. “Bring everything you will need for a two day journey.” I stared at her. “That is how long the journey will take Rochelle. She added after studying my confused expression. I didn’t bother to nod this time. “When you get to the waterfall stop there and rest only the pure hearted are allowed there, but no sooner you mustn’t stop until you reach the waterfall.” “I will do my best mother.” It was her turn to nod then. Then we both stood there looking at each other. I was so confused but I knew that she wouldn’t explain it to me again. “Hurry.” she said calmly. I knew I didn’t have much time so I tried my best not to waste any. I gathered two changes of clothes, dried food, and water. My mother was pacing back and forth through the ancient room and as she did the wood creaked and creaked. There was nothing left to do now, I had to leave. My mother knew exactly what I was thinking. “You have to go now Rochelle.” something about her face made me realize that there was something else she wanted to tell me but I didn’t ask. And she didn’t tell. I was at the door now, and about to twist the handle when she rushed over to me and hugged me again. I held her tight and felt my own tears rush down my cheek. “I will always love you my sweet, kind daughter.” “I will come back mother I promise you I will.” I buried myself deeper into her shoulder. “Goodbye Rochelle I will pray for your safety.” “As will I pray for yours.” I kissed her on the cheek and left the room, looking back for only a second. Why was she looking at my shoulder? And why did she still have that expression that there was something she wanted to tell me but couldn’t? I put the gray cloak that was set carefully by the door on and left without knowing. I was on the run now, and I feared I always will be. I walked as fast as I could without being noticed, many of the villagers were panicked as my mother was and all were talking. The village was small, but so many of the villagers were outside today that It was hard to get through them. Many villagers tripped and stumbled, others were cradling they’re relatives. It was too much to take I kept my head down not wanting to see anymore. I wished I was blind. But after a few minutes I finally found the forest. I made sure none of the villagers were watching me, none were. I walked faster and faster, until I was in the forest. I quickened my pace until I was so deep inside the forest that I knew no villager could see me. The smell was sweet, and I was overwhelmed by it , pine trees, flowers, berries, even the smell of the fresh grass. It brought me a slight moment of peace. I never dreamed something could be this beautiful. And then something else overwhelmed me, I was alone. But it wasn’t just that, all the villagers knew me, knew my mother. My mother. The queen would kill her, she would know that my mother told me to escape, but before the queen would kill her she would interrogate her. Asking her exactly were I was going, but I also knew mother would never tell, she would die a painful death. All because she didn’t want to loose me. I had to go back. But the villagers knew by now that I was gone, both me and my mother would die no matter what I did now. I had to keep moving, but not for me I wasn’t doing this for me, I was making this journey for my mother. I felt my heart start to break for her, I might never see her again. A tear dripped down my cheek but this wasn’t the time to cry, I couldn’t brake down here, I had to make it to the waterfall by the day’s end and then rest. I mustn’t let her down I had to try my best to make it, to survive for her. I kept heading north. Then something took hold of me like I had been here before, something was guiding me I didn’t trip or stumble once. It was as if I belonged here, like I belonged to nature. I walked and walked, the sun was almost set but still no sign of the waterfall. I began to loose hope. Then I smelt it, I never smelt anything like it, it was sweeter then berries or flowers even, it was the most amazing smell I closed my eyes and to my surprise I could picture the waterfall in complete detail, beautiful glistening rocks of every color of the rainbow, water as blue as the sky on a clear day. The greenest grass and bushes surrounded it. My eyes were still closed but I could feel my feet guiding me, showing me the way. I didn’t open my eyes until my feet stopped dead in their tracks. I opened my eyes. I could feel my jaw drop, I was right next to the waterfall, the sound was amazing, birds chirping even though it was almost dark, the water rushing down into the stream, flowers of all sorts were surrounding the waterfall and stream, red, blue, green, colors I had never seen before. I didn’t want to fall asleep but suddenly I felt my muscles in my legs start to give, and my eyelids were drooping. I stared at it all one more time then laid down right next to the waterfall, taking my gray cloak off and using it as a blanket, and my bag as a pillow. Shortly after I fell asleep, feeling so peaceful for the first time in my life. Even my dream was peaceful. Not quite a dream because it was all of my best memories mixed into one. The first part of the dream was when I was four and my father and brother were still alive, my brother was eight ears older then me, my brother, Alex had a huge grin on his face because he had finally beaten father at chest, he jumped for joy and everyone was grinning and laughing, especially my father, he shook hands with Alex and congratulated him. I could tell Alex was getting just a tad bit fool of himself, his blonde hair was bouncing up and down along with him. My father was considered very handsome, black hair, square jaw lines, a hint of a cleft was on his chin, his lips were pale, along with his whole body, his eyes were gray, at four years olds I never understood why. But now I did. My father was just a slave to the queen, he and all the other men were constantly working, I had even heard of some of the men dying from being pushed too hard. And then there was my mother her lips were full, she was absolutely beautiful, her hair was the same color blonde as my brother, she was skinny, and her face was almost a perfect oval. My mother had changed so much since the day my father and Alex died, I knew that she had to watch them die, but I didn’t know how they died that was something I could ask her, something I never wanted to ask her, and she never told me. Me peaceful dream was starting to get blurry so I stopped my thoughts dead in my tracks and let the dream play out. My whole dream was full of the time I had spent with my family, but that only included seven ears of my life. My brother was only fifteen when he died, my father was my father was forty two. Suddenly I awoke, my head was dizzy and I carefully got up so I wouldn’t get a headache, then I heard it. A voice. A boy’s voice. I leaped to my feet and hid behind a bush, I didn’t dare run. I didn’t dare make a sound. Not so much as a gasp. But hadn’t my mother said that only the pure hearted were allowed entrance to the waterfall, I didn’t take a chance. Then I heard footsteps, I had to look something was telling me that I had to look. I put my head at the side of the bush knowing that whoever was there wouldn’t be able to see me. Then I saw him. He looked to be fifteen or sixteen. I could tell by the way his face was not yet squared off and still in a way kidish. His hair wasn’t very long but it went into his eyes, he was tan unlike every other boy I had seen in my village, he was not from the village. He was one of the queen’s soldiers. I felt my heartbeat speed up and know I tried my hardest to stay still, he was dressed in all red. He carried with him a sword that was still in its sheath. How had he been able to get here? Why? Only the pure hearted were allowed here. He bent down towards the waterfall, and I was able to get a better look at him. His eyes were brown, but so sad, I gazed at them for a long time, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t move my eyes, he wasn’t staring back but there was something about his eyes. I stared in shock I felt at though I knew him but didn’t. I stared and stared until my stomach started to flutter. Why did I have the sudden urge to go over to him? I was finally able to take my eyes from his, he was so close to me it seemed, I stared at his clothes, then I saw something on his head, and then I realized exactly what he was. He was not a soldier of the queen but a son, not a real son, the queen liked to think of it that way though, there were five, all of them had been stolen from they’re families when they were just babies. The queen had known that soon a day would come when the ice princess would come back. She feared it, she wanted a powerful army. All of her sons bared the mark of the lily all had the power of fire. All could take down a brick house with just a punch. The mark of the lily was hard to find and most common on girls, but she didn’t want any girls in her army she killed any baby girl that had bared the mark. But any boy she kept and raised it as her own. They were evil and had as dark a heart as the queen. She had sent her sons to the village to kill the girls. But if that was true how had that boy come here, to the waterfall? Why was I not frightened of him even know when I knew who he was?

What manga are these? 1. There's this male fortune teller by the streets, and a middle aged women asked for her fortune. He got it wrong, but where ever the women went, he followed. He even appeared when the women was with her boyfriend at a restaurant. The fortune teller even saved her from committing suicide from jumping off a cliff. Later on, after she believes that he can really see the future, he told her that he read his own future. He said that he didn't have much time left... 2. There's this young/teenage girl that can see the future. But she does nothing, and claims that 'the future can not be altered.' She meets this teenage boy that keeps a little notebook of murders that will happen (?). The two works together to prevent deaths. There's this one part, where they saved a boy from accidentally being hit with a car when he was getting his ball. But they then see the cat that they saw earlier, hit instead. They realize that if they prevent a death, another must fill it's place... Yes, I know it's long, but please oh please, let me know if any of you guys remember these mangas. Oh, and I know that these two were rather short, and I read them on OneManga. THANKS!

I need to know if he still has feelings for me? There is this guy who liked me and my friend liked his friend and they became a couple and my friend and his friend broke up and he started liking me. I thought about it and I liked him better. After a while we were a couple and I got tired so I was dateless. The guys still had a thing for me they were very atraccted to me and then it came to the point where were we had to move and I couldn't see them anymore. I always ask those christal balls or fortune teller keychains if they still like me or if they like someone else in the new school and they always say yes but I just reject the fact so I need to know do you think that they still like me?

Please help coursework redraft in for tomorrow? I am trying to redraft my orginial writing peice of courswork. I got 20 out of 27 on that, 13 for context and 7 for spelling and grammar. Please tell me what I need include in order to gain full marks for context. Tarot cards! To some people they are just plain pieces of paper, who don’t even give it a second glance. However for me, they represent my destiny, my tradition and my passion. As you shall find out….. Contrary to the name, Banshee Wail was a quiet sleepy village where not much happened. People would spend most of the day going about their chores and at dusk they would wind up in the ‘Old Ale House’. However, when ‘Jolly Joe’s Annual Fair’ arrived on the outskirts of the village, the whole place was transformed from a lethargic hamlet to a pulsating and dynamic party zone! Daymond is my name and I have been a resident of Banshee Wail throughout my whole life. No matter what rumours have been inflicted on our precious village I will still cherish my birth place. Our small parish was named Banshee Wail for a reason. Legend has it that people heard peculiar noises from the cemetery, and if you listen carefully to the wind weaving through the woods it would sound eerily strange; like someone was wailing. The name matched the village’s ‘personality’ if you like: an aged, early twentieth century village with alleys leading off to dead ends and gas lamps which had not been relit for years. That’s what I admire in this village, the simplicity, the sensation of magic engulfing you, but most of all…..the superstition. Yes the superstition, the history of this place is what made me bond to this for so long. I love superstition believing in it like a religion. “Daymond who are you talking to? Come on quickly the new attraction is about to open, actually I’ll meet you there!” “Okay then see you there!” I called back to Arnold who’s my best friend since childhood. Unlike me he’s not so obsessed with ‘you know what’. He thinks ‘false notions’ is a time pass activity for uneducated people, although I must say, for every unexpected occurrence he always has an explanation for it, stating it’s the cause of science! I think the real cause of it is the supernatural powers. I rushed down the meandering wooden stair case and stepped out of the house to see a stunning sunset with its orange glow bathing the village, but I felt a chill in my bones despite the warm radiance from the sun. Music greeted my ears, urging me to dart into the carnival and start enjoying myself just like any seventeen year old boy would do. Flashing lights everywhere, enough to give some poor old soul epilepsy for life enclosed me, while lungs bursting with laugher made me even more excitable. I was so eager to see the new attraction which I knew would draw large crowds from all the food stalls and all the crazy cheap rides that I could hardly wait for Arnold. “Daymond, hey how are you, you’re not talking to yourself are you?” “Be quiet that is not amusing, anyway do you know where that new attraction is located?” I said feeling a bit awkward. “Yes, so much for the new exciting attraction, it’s just a stupid fortune teller. Not very exciting if you ask me, but I’m sure you’ll like it.” “Really? Wow, I’ve never actually had my fortune read in real life”, I cried out in disbelief, but I kind of felt sorry for Arnold as I knew he too was waiting for the new attraction all year and now he was disappointed; extremely disappointed. “Well you can still come along, I mean don’t you want to know what type of successful business you are going to open?” “I suppose it won’t hurt.” “Good, now hurry we must not be late, we have to be the first in line.” There was no line. Just empty, grimy food wrappers wandering about in the evening breeze which had now turned nippy. Weird I thought to myself, there should have been a mile long queue of bustling and shuffling people, but no other human being stood outside the fortune teller’s red and white stripped tent. As Arnold and I approached the marquee, a ghostly illumination shone through the marquee’s entrance, casting two dark shadows behind our slim figures. “Excuse me, does….” I quickly glanced at the tattered poster representing her, searching for any identification of the fortune teller. “Excuse me does Madam Divine run this tent?” Seconds seemed like minutes waiting for the lady to reply. “Yes, I am Madam Divine, why do you ask?” Her voice was light and posh and on top of that her French accent immediately told me that she wasn’t from around here. “We err want our fortune read, isn’t that what you’re here for?” “Ohhh yes, come on inside and hurry, the outside world is not safe.” “Hey, Daymond don’t you think she’s a bit loopy plus she can’t even speak English properly and how did she ever come to see that we would be in trouble?” “Arnold, she is a FORTUNE TELLER not some helpless foreigner, let’s go in!” “Fine but only on one condition we go to the freak show later on, deal?”

Here's th preface and a little bit of the first chapter of a book im working on tell me what you think it's a little long but please read it all i would have made a link but im not quite sure how do do that sorry. Preface It all started a long time ago back when the world was one and its people lived side by side and lived for thinking of others before themselves. Back when there was no war and no destructive leader. Back when people could speak there mind and not be killed on sight. Well, that was a long, long time ago. It all started with two princesses both of them very beautiful and loved by their people. They were sisters. They loved one another. But corruption soon took its role on them. Princess Sophia had hair as bright as the sun on a summer’s day, she had hypnotizing blue eyes, and nearly always held a smile. Princess Rosaline had hair as dark as a pine tree’s bark, her lips a faint pink, her green eyes only brought more beauty to her. But when she smiled everyone couldn’t help but smile with her. When a baby was born that would have unthinkable power there would always be a strange birthmark on their left shoulder in the shape of either a lily or a rose. There were only myths about the rose birthmark, it being so rare, the rose birthmark had only been heard through myths and tall tales throughout the years. The day Sophia was born she bared a lily but Rosaline had a mark of the rose. Many fortune tellers told prophecies of the sisters when they were just toddlers. Some told of how both sisters would be extremely wise and love everyone in the kingdom, others told of how both sisters would protect the kingdom from any monster that dare to try to harm it. Both wrong. The one everyone should’ve listened to was a prophecy that was told by a crazy old woman , the true prophecy, “ Yes both princesses will grow to be beauties of the kingdom, but heed my warning, A princess shall betray the other, kill her and the kind king and queen, she will bring with her a army of darkness,” Her voice grew tired and crackly yet louder at the same time. Her gray scraggly hair flowed with the wind, her mole only barely noticeable, her pale wrinkled skin seemed less fragile then normal as the old women finished the prophecy. “There shall be a great battle of good and evil, fire and ice, one will die, the other shall bring only more misery and pain to the kingdom, she shall rule for four hundred years. She will kill anyone that dare cross her. But one day when we are long dead, everyone but the queen, and our great-great-great-grandchildren will only know misery and suffering there will be hope. On her sixteenth birthday, a young woman shall come, she will kill the queen and our kingdom will once again be safe, she shall give her life to save us all and she shall prevail. She will be the queen’s sister reincarnated. The ice princess. Heed my word for I have seen the future! All will be lost all will be destroyed, please listen to me!” The old women pleaded with the villages that were listening to her, such pain and sorrow in her eyes. Yet none of the villagers believed her, most walked away. “The princesses will love each other you daft old hag, what is one prophecy against a thousand?” said a villager. All the villagers that were left shook their heads in agreement…… They should have listened to the old woman… they should have listened. As the girls grew older their powers became clear, Sophia had the power of fire, but Rosaline had the power of ice. When Sophia was eighteen and Rosaline was sixteen the old woman’s prophecy came true. No one knows why Sophia hated her parents and sister so, no one but Sophia herself, and her sister Rosaline. Sophia rode after Rosaline as she fled for her life. Eventually they came upon a iced over lake, both girls stopped as the ice began to crack. Rosaline got off her horse, Sophia did the same. Rosaline knew that she was going to die, but before she did she placed a curse on her sister. Her voice was kind as it always was, such a innocent voice, but filled with a great sadness, “Dear sister I forgive you for what you are about to do to me, but not for what you shall do with this world, one day, four hundred years from this very day I will come back for you, and destroy you.” Rosaline stood there she looked unafraid, so calm and peaceful, but still you could tell her sadness from a hundred miles away, such a strong sadness. Sophia laughed, a evil sickening sound. “I’m about to kill you sister, tell me how you will come back and destroy me?” “I will have a reincarnation, it saddens me that she will have to die as well.” And with that Sophia killed her sister, no one knows how exactly all they know is that she was dead. That same night the old woman that had told everyone the true prophecy died in her sleep. Sophia took charge of the kingdom. The peaceful kingdom was doomed. Four hundred years have passed since then. My name is Rochelle, and this is my story. Chapter one “Rochelle!” I heard the innkeeper say. She was shaking me in my bed. “Rochelle you must get up!” my head was still dizzy from sleeping all day but I could still recognize the panic in the woman’s voice. My mother. I couldn’t tell why she was so frightened I quickly sat up on the hay bed and looked into her eyes. She had the kindest face I had ever known, her hair was already gray and she was only in her early forties. She had laugh lines and barley noticeable wrinkles along with a double chin. And she had tears in her pale blue eyes. I loved this woman more then anything. And she was so panicked. “What is it mother?” I asked her in a groggy voice. “The queen, she is coming my daughter!” She yelled. “Why?” I asked her, now I was completely awake. “The queen fears the prophecy will come true she is stopping at every village and checking all the backs of the young women for the mark of the rose. “Then why are you so scared mother?” I asked her. “The queen is killing all the girls even if they do not bare the mark.” She replied studying my face. “I cannot bare to loose you my child.” A fresh tear fell silently down her cheek and onto my hair. “But there is nothing we can do mother.” I calmly said, looking down. Even though I said it calm my heart was racing so fast and loud I feared she could hear it. “You must run.” “What!” I yelled, “I cant mama I cant.” “You must, she took my husband and my son I will not let her take you.” She pulled me close to her, snuggling my head into her chest and resting her head on mine. I could feel her tears dripping on my head now. “I will not let her take you.” She repeated. I pulled away from her, her face was a blotchy red now. “Mother what will happen if she catches me?” I asked her already knowing the dreaded answer. “Then she will kill you my daughter.” A new wave of tears fell down her cheeks. “But then you would have at least tried.” I looked at her again and I knew that I had to try for her sake. But I also felt it in my gut that something terrible was about to happen. “For you I will try.” I smiled a weak smile then hugged her. “Rochelle I will only be able to tell you this once so please listen carefully.” “Yes mother.” “You will walk north in the town then you will find the forest, keep heading north until you find a waterfall, then you must head east until you reach a village. Do not tell anyone your name, at the dead center of the village you shall find a small yellow cottage, give this to the man that will answer,” she pulled a small, dirty pouch from her apron handing it to me. “Do not look at what is in this pouch until you reach the cottage. Promise me you wont.” “I promise mother.” “Keep It hidden, no one but the man in the cottage can know about it nor see it.” I didn’t really know what to say so I nodded. “You must survive no matter what.” I nodded again. “Bring everything you will need for a two day journey.” I stared at her. “That is how long the journey will take Rochelle. She added after studying my confused expression. I didn’t bother to nod this time. “When you get to the waterfall stop there and rest only the pure hearted are allowed there, but no sooner you mustn’t stop until you reach the waterfall.” “I will do my best mother.” It was her turn to nod then. Then we both stood there looking at each other. I was so confused but I knew that she wouldn’t explain it to me again. “Hurry.” she said calmly. I knew I didn’t have much time so I tried my best not to waste any. I gathered two changes of clothes, dried food, and water. My mother was pacing back and forth through the ancient room and as she did the wood creaked and creaked. There was nothing left to do now, I had to leave. My mother knew exactly what I was thinking. “You have to go now Rochelle.” something about her face made me realize that there was something else she wanted to tell me but I didn’t ask. And she didn’t tell. I was at the door now, and about to twist the handle when she rushed over to me and hugged me again. I held her tight and felt my own tears rush down my cheek. “I will always love you my sweet, kind daughter.” “I will come back mother I promise you I will.” I buried myself deeper into her shoulder. “Goodbye Rochelle I will pray for your safety.” “As will I pray for yours.” I kissed her on the cheek and left the room, looking back for only a second. Why was she looking at my shoulder? And why did she still have that expression that there was something she wanted to tell me but couldn’t? I put the gray cloak that was set carefully by the door on and left without knowing. I was on the run now, and I feared I always will be. I walked as fast as I could without being noticed, many of the villagers were panicked as my mother was and all were talking. The village was small, but so many of the villagers were outside today that It was hard to get through them. Many villagers tripped and stumbled, others were cradling they’re relatives. It was too much to take I kept my head down not wanting to see anymore. I wished I was blind. But after a few minutes I finally found the forest. I made sure none of the villagers were watching me, none were. I walked faster and faster, until I was in the forest. I quickened my pace until I was so deep inside the forest that I knew no villager could see me. The smell was sweet, and I was overwhelmed by it , pine trees, flowers, berries, even the smell of the fresh grass. It brought me a slight moment of peace. I never dreamed something could be this beautiful. And then something else overwhelmed me, I was alone. But it wasn’t just that, all the villagers knew me, knew my mother. My mother. The queen would kill her, she would know that my mother told me to escape, but before the queen would kill her she would interrogate her. Asking her exactly were I was going, but I also knew mother would never tell, she would die a painful death. All because she didn’t want to loose me. I had to go back. But the villagers knew by now that I was gone, both me and my mother would die no matter what I did now. I had to keep moving, but not for me I wasn’t doing this for me, I was making this journey for my mother. I felt my heart start to break for her, I might never see her again. A tear dripped down my cheek but this wasn’t the time to cry, I couldn’t brake down here, I had to make it to the waterfall by the day’s end and then rest. I mustn’t let her down I had to try my best to make it, to survive for her. I kept heading north. Then something took hold of me like I had been here before, something was guiding me I didn’t trip or stumble once. It was as if I belonged here, like I belonged to nature. I walked and walked, the sun was almost set but still no sign of the waterfall. I began to loose hope. Then I smelt it, I never smelt anything like it, it was sweeter then berries or flowers even, it was the most amazing smell I closed my eyes and to my surprise I could picture the waterfall in complete detail, beautiful glistening rocks of every color of the rainbow, water as blue as the sky on a clear day. The greenest grass and bushes surrounded it. My eyes were still closed but I could feel my feet guiding me, showing me the way. I didn’t open my eyes until my feet stopped dead in their tracks. I opened my eyes. I could feel my jaw drop, I was right next to the waterfall, the sound was amazing, birds chirping even though it was almost dark, the water rushing down into the stream, flowers of all sorts were surrounding the waterfall and stream, red, blue, green, colors I had never seen before. I didn’t want to fall asleep but suddenly I felt my muscles in my legs start to give, and my eyelids were drooping. I stared at it all one more time then laid down right next to the waterfall, taking my gray cloak off and using it as a blanket, and my bag as a pillow. Shortly after I fell asleep, feeling so peaceful for the first time in my life. Even my dream was peaceful. Not quite a dream because it was all of my best memories mixed into one. The first part of the dream was when I was four and my father and brother were still alive, my brother was eight ears older then me, my brother, Alex had a huge grin on his face because he had finally beaten father at chest, he jumped for joy and everyone was grinning and laughing, especially my father, he shook hands with Alex and congratulated him. I could tell Alex was getting just a tad bit fool of himself, his blonde hair was bouncing up and down along with him. My father was considered very handsome, black hair, square jaw lines, a hint of a cleft was on his chin, his lips were pale, along with his whole body, his eyes were gray, at four years olds I never understood why. But now I did. My father was just a slave to the queen, he and all the other men were constantly working, I had even heard of some of the men dying from being pushed too hard. And then there was my mother her lips were full, she was absolutely beautiful, her hair was the same color blonde as my brother, she was skinny, and her face was almost a perfect oval. My mother had changed so much since the day my father and Alex died, I knew that she had to watch them die, but I didn’t know how they died that was something I could ask her, something I never wanted to ask her, and she never told me. Me peaceful dream was starting to get blurry so I stopped my thoughts dead in my tracks and let the dream play out. My whole dream was full of the time I had spent with my family, but that only included seven ears of my life. My brother was only fifteen when he died, my father was my father was forty two. Suddenly I awoke, my head was dizzy and I carefully got up so I wouldn’t get a headache, then I heard it. A voice. A boy’s voice. I leaped to my feet and hid behind a bush, I didn’t dare run. I didn’t dare make a sound. Not so much as a gasp. But hadn’t my mother said that only the pure hearted were allowed entrance to the waterfall, I didn’t take a chance. Then I heard footsteps, I had to look something was telling me that I had to look. I put my head at the side of the bush knowing that whoever was there wouldn’t be able to see me. Then I saw him. He looked to be fifteen or sixteen. I could tell by the way his face was not yet squared off and still in a way kidish. His hair wasn’t very long but it went into his eyes, he was tan unlike every other boy I had seen in my village, he was not from the village. He was one of the queen’s soldiers. I felt my heartbeat speed up and know I tried my hardest to stay still, he was dressed in all red. He carried with him a sword that was still in its sheath. How had he been able to get here? Why? Only the pure hearted were allowed here. He bent down towards the waterfall, and I was able to get a better look at him. His eyes were brown, but so sad, I gazed at them for a long time, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t move my eyes, he wasn’t staring back but there was something about his eyes. I stared in shock I felt at though I knew him but didn’t. I stared and stared until my stomach started to flutter. Why did I have the sudden urge to go over to him? I was finally able to take my eyes from his, he was so close to me it seemed, I stared at his clothes, then I saw something on his head, and then I realized exactly what he was. He was not a soldier of the queen but a son, not a real son, the queen liked to think of it that way though, there were five, all of them had been stolen from they’re families when they were just babies. The queen had known that soon a day would come when the ice princess would come back. She feared it, she wanted a powerful army. All of her sons bared the mark of the lily all had the power of fire. All could take down a brick house with just a punch. The mark of the lily was hard to find and most common on girls, but she didn’t want any girls in her army she killed any baby girl that had bared the mark. But any boy she kept and raised it as her own. They were evil and had as dark a heart as the queen. She had sent her sons to the village to kill the girls. But if that was true how had that boy come here, to the waterfall? Why was I not frightened of him even know when I knew who he was? the starting of the story is supposed to be quick in my eyes but i want it to be around a four hundred paged book so trust me the starting had to be fast

i dont know what to do =[? a guy in my class that i've fallen for in my class likes me, i mean really likes me, he told me that he is into me and gave me compliments etc, he's really cute but insucure (i think that's the best word for it), anyway, we went for a walk after class one day and we got into a deep convo and kissed..(my first..mind you im 18 lol shameful) he knows its my first, he didnt believe me cos he said he'd thought i'd have been around..(i dunno y he said that but i somewhat take it as a compliment lol) he asked me out and i said yes.. the next day he called it off (confusing) saying he's not ready for all that yet. i was kind of broken after that day, because for the few hours in a long time i was extra happy but then he called it off.. anyway i want to ask him out but im a coward when it comes to that sort of thing because although i have confidence, im not experienced =[ everyone (including a fortune teller) says i wont get what i want until i ask for it..even a decision machine lol..thats how sad i can get lol (sorry).. i just need help on how to meet him, when to tell him and how to tell him.. the last time (thursday) i told him i waned to talk to him via email, he ran outta class like 15 mins before the class ended.. i really need to get this guy help pwease??!! thanks x

My friend is mad at me over a little thing...? On the bus today i sat next to my friend Wendy and my friend Amber was in the seat across. I guess Wendy opened her mouth to speak but as soon as she was about to i turned and started chatting with Amber. I didn't know Wendy was about to say something. So after about 5 minutes she hasn't said a word and i say "What's wrong?" She said "You know what's wrong you just blew me off for Amber! I was GOING to say something about school, i THOUGHT you might be interested but i guess not!" I said exactly this "Oh im sorry i didn't know you were about to say something.....you wanna tell me now?" She just rolled her eyes and said "No....?" So after about 10 more minutes of awkward silence she starts to warm up a lil and shows me this fortune teller thing you can fold out of paper. We play with it for a while then Cody (who was sitting behind me) asked me if he could try it. So i asked Wendy and she said yes. So i showed it to Cody and some of his friends when Wendy snatched it out of my hands and shoved it in her bookbag. I asked her why she did that and she said "Well first off all, IT'S MINE!!" So i was about to say sorry when she shoved her head phones on and put her ipod on full blast to zone me out. So i wrote her a note and it said "Im sorry i offended you" and she just rolled her eyes and said "You didnt offend me i just started to get ticked off okay?" And we went the rest of the ride with out talking. I DONT GET IT. I said im sorry and i asked her if she forgives me and she said "idk" Was i really that rude?

Short Romance & Marriage Jokes 2? THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, it's my Mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I was married 3 times," explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first two wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my third wife died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame," said his friend. "How did it happen?" "She wouldn't eat the mushrooms." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look Miss," said the foreman, "Have you any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bob's greatest achievement was his brood of six children. In fact, he was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife "Mother of Six", despite her continual objections. One night at a cocktail party, Bob decided it was time to go home and shouted across the room, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His irritated wife hollered back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. "My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!" the shaken man told the cop. "The car hit you from behind," the officer said. "How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?" "I recognized the laugh!" he replied. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ad seen in paper: FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea." The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life." "But I'm not getting married until tomorrow," protested his nephew. "I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, "STOP! STOP! You're not going to cut it off, are you???" The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man wakes up his wife during the night with a glass of water in one hand and two aspirins in the other. She asks, "What's this for?" "This is for your headache," he says. She says, "But I don't have a headache." He smiles and says, "Gotcha!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joe said, "Know what, Charlie? I killed 5 flies yesterday, 3 males and 2 females." "How could you tell them apart, Joe?" asked Charlie. Joe replied, "That was easy. The 3 males were sitting on a case of beer and the 2 females were on the phone." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover." "Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla. "But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded. "He did. That's why I have to take every precaution." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Smiths were dining out when his wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. "Honey," she said as she pointed the guy out, "That guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." Her husband said, "That's silly, no one celebrates that much!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nature has many laws that hold fast and true. For example, a baby ape will always grow-up to be an ape; likewise, a baby baboon will become an adult baboon. A baby pig will mature into a full grown pig. A baby jackass will always become a jackass. A puppy quickly matures into a dog; a mongrel pup develops into a cur. Yet oddly enough, women say a young man may grow-up to be any one of these. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Roger was fed up with his wife, so he packed up his stuff and moved into the garage. Although he couple seldom spoke, he continued to mow the lawn, take out the garbage and fix the car, while she cooked the meals, vacuumed and did the laundry. Months later, Roger met his friend Don for drinks. "Things don't seem to be working out any better," Don remarked. "Why don't you just move out?" "Well, if you really want to know the truth," Roger explained, "she makes such a damn good neighbor." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Worried about their less than exciting sex life, a young wife sent her husband to a therapist who wound up treating him with self hypnosis. And, to her joy, everything got much better. However, she could not help but notice that each night, early into their lovemaking, the husband would dash out to the bathroom for several minutes. This tormented her until finally, one night, she followed him. There, in front of the mirror, she found him applying this therapeutic technique: "She's not my wife... She's not my wife...She's not my wife..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rex's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty-thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it." ---------------------------------------- A man said his credit card was stolen, but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. ------------------------------------------ First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet, "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous." Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" Wife: "In the pool." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Overheard: "Has your husband lived up to all the things he said before you were married?" "No, He's only lived up to one of them." "Which one was that?" "He said he wasn't good enough for me." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom, and you can hold down a full time job, prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so." That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she laughed to herself and said, "I don't freaking think so!!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It is two o'clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when suddenly the phone rings. The husband picks up the phone and says, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" He promptly slams the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband replies, "I don't know, it was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A couple comes upon a wishing well. The wife leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. The husband decides to make a wish, too. But he leans over too much, falls into the well and drowns. Stunned, the wife smiles broadly and exclaims, "It really works!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This place is a mess! C'mon, You and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and if we don't do laundry right now, you'll have no clothes to wear." What a Man hears: blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW blah,blah,blah,blah,blah, NO CLOTHES -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A lady sought out a fortune teller. The fortune teller tells her, "Be prepared for widowhood. Your husband will soon die a violent death." The lady asked, " Will I be acquitted?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four." Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!" Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fall off. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the state lottery!" Martha replies, "Should I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man says, "I don't care. Just as long as you're out of the house by noon." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "It's just to hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- While at the fairgrounds, a woman wanted to take a ride on the Ferris wheel before heading home. Her husband waited while she took a spin. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the woman was thrown out. She landed in a heap at her husband's feet. He gasped and bent down. "Are you hurt?" he asked. "Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two men are playing golf when a funeral procession passes by on the street next to the green. One of the men takes off his hat and holds it over his heart. When the procession has passed, the other man says, "That was a nice gesture." "Well," the first guy says, "After twenty years of marriage, it was the least I could do for her." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the grey hair on his chest and they except that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants and see if you can get disability!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "We're doing some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two women were talking, when one said to the other: "Do you ever talk to your husband when you're making love?" "Yeah," replied the second, "But only when he telephones!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath, and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in a six o'clock in the morning!" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to," replied the husband, "But I don't know her well enough." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please take some time and read some of my poems; i'd look to know what u guys think! I'm jus 16 years old! NEVER BE PEACE (Written 8/8/07) The only answer To absolute peace Is buried in war Which brings terror to humanity! If the world Was bestowed With absolute peace, Yes, we shall have no conflicts But abolished will the basic humane instinct or privilege To revolt & question evil authority As souls quietly perish By men of evil hiding beneath the wings of harmony For absolute peace Won’t put good in men’s hearts Rather, it would give them courage To chase renegade, Committing heinous crimes In a world utopia Where men hardly question, act Nor shed a tear Thus giving evil liberty As world's citizens delay to act Leading the world into a pitfall For they lack strength to heed the humanist call. So to prevent this crisis, The road To absolute peace Is hidden where humane hearts dread! 2 weeks ago 3RD Rock Valley(Written 1/4/08) In the mare valley of wink, I bore witness to the heavens close; giant plates far from meek assembled to one to trap the foe For precious were us, that his queen valley he gave but our stabs of Corday left her a dead Marat. So with no linger of shame that his queen we defame, his heavens he closed with intent the sham´er dwell in the mist she rot. Then I un-winked to see wrongs mounted on thy steed to blasphemy in recoil for thy meed by the tongues of thy deed, soon to leave 3rd rock valley closed. 2 weeks ago Tyrant (Written 12/20/07) We sat them in the dark Swallowed the key to knowledge, Bounded them to home To pluck the fruits we bore. But as the tyrant made his mark The world fell from sage, And the one bounded to home Handed knowledge, could bring back the days of yore. The bounded did ask But at a knock deliver the message, Olympe’s head rolled home For to rule wasn’t the rightful chore But fear was behind the mask, Fear for if knowledge Did come, The tyrant’s image would sore For as virtue knows no knack The world is due for change Not by some, But all who dwell in its core. 2 weeks ago Ides of March (Written 1/5/08) What shall I compare to thee? Thou art fairest All hearts faint at decree Of thy name and breast. Thou beam the top of happy hours With smile worthy of regalia Scent of rosy flowers That linger in the farthest of Ithaca. In thy eyes and words, thou love But thy stare & words beguile For men’s happy does thy love remove Aching misery from every angle. Beware her ambitions lay of harsh For thy love lead the Ides of March 2 weeks ago Bitter Blonde (Written 1/14/08) The smile that bore the sun, Bore the fruits of her anger, While the rat that feast upon her corn At peace she found and let linger. The wishful greetings and praises She buried as taunt, In mist of amazing graces For doom she fought, Taking happy a foe For constant were days of misery Leaving bitter her soul In strength, to fight days weary But thy heart does bleed with cries For happy, in bitter hours 2 weeks ago Days of yore (Ain’t no love) (Written 1/21/08) Feast upon the days of yore, The screams you howled The strikes upon your face The tears you bled, The ego that stumbled from grace Leaving your soul at mirror sour Aching for mercy, But thou love his gaze, So the strikes Thou dismiss As orthodox affection Refusing echo, in fear of apostasy But sick of the marks you bore, Thou chased the dove, Only to fall for the mask Drawn by the wicks of love So my arms you leave, but all I ask; Feast upon the days of yore 2 weeks ago Drunken Beauty (1/23/08) At drunk equilibrium Must’ve been my gaze For thou looked queen Regalia worthy of praise. But as sheep be of wisdom Sober my eyes found And away with thy crown My drunken gaze crowned Leaving disgust at each sight With pure ridicule at the pedestal My eyes then dim-wit Deemed hideous crystal. At judgment, failing to realize Some beauty drunk my eyes first! 2 weeks ago M.L.K TRIBUTE (written 1/20/07) Admired and adored as an African, Before beslaved by Crude consciences coasting. Destroying divine dedication, Especially extirpating everyone encouraging Freedom, fighting furiously, fatally for fellow Gentlemen granted God given Happiness hindered heinously. Instead, ignorant inked individuals Jargonized justice, justifying K.K.K killings knowingly, Legally licensing liars. Miraculously, minds maneuvered mimicking Minerva Navigating Negroes neutering nonviolence. Outcrying, organized obviously oppressed Peoples, previously prisoned, Questionably quarantined. Relentlessly rumbled, raving, raging racists. Slaved, successfully saved, silently slained Telling true tales. Undeniably united, U.S underhanded Verbally vocalized vivid visions. Would willing wine with wicked whites within *Xeres. Yielding youths yearning ZION. * A town in Australia famous for its wine. 2 weeks ago The unorthodox die (Written 2/16/07) “Great men hardly die peacefully.”- Charles Onyewuchi In many minds The world is better left As it is, Given the horrors of our past. Thus men who push for change Along with pioneers With unorthodox Thinking, practices and beliefs Are most at risk Of meeting an early grave. For we as a society Dread to stray Away From the norm- “our reality” Which justifies why great figures Like M.L.K, Jesus and Socrates All met death, For each either pushed for change Or bore beliefs and ideals Premature for their time. Thence in an attempt to protect “reality” We eliminate them, Only to again ponder the good Of walking the road they had envisioned. 2 weeks ago B4 I go (Written 3/2/08) Fly, Fly, Flay away to the heavens Tell the skies to tear And the stars To fear Leave of pot of gold On the chick And tear for me Under the tree Tap the drums of harmony And dance the dance Of misery Missing no beat Wear the eyes Of the fortune teller And tell me what thou see, What thou see clear Glare in the mirror of fate And plead for peace, Tell the prince of the night Not to dagger the yearns of the old Alas, tell the mother That she did fine And the heavens do thank The feast of greatness they wine….

Please take sometime and read some of my poems;i'd love to know wat u think! (I'm only 16 years old)? NEVER BE PEACE (Written 8/8/07) The only answer To absolute peace Is buried in war Which brings terror to humanity! If the world Was bestowed With absolute peace, Yes, we shall have no conflicts But abolished will the basic humane instinct or privilege To revolt & question evil authority As souls quietly perish By men of evil hiding beneath the wings of harmony For absolute peace Won’t put good in men’s hearts Rather, it would give them courage To chase renegade, Committing heinous crimes In a world utopia Where men hardly question, act Nor shed a tear Thus giving evil liberty As world's citizens delay to act Leading the world into a pitfall For they lack strength to heed the humanist call. So to prevent this crisis, The road To absolute peace Is hidden where humane hearts dread! 2 weeks ago 3RD Rock Valley(Written 1/4/08) In the mare valley of wink, I bore witness to the heavens close; giant plates far from meek assembled to one to trap the foe For precious were us, that his queen valley he gave but our stabs of Corday left her a dead Marat. So with no linger of shame that his queen we defame, his heavens he closed with intent the sham´er dwell in the mist she rot. Then I un-winked to see wrongs mounted on thy steed to blasphemy in recoil for thy meed by the tongues of thy deed, soon to leave 3rd rock valley closed. 2 weeks ago Tyrant (Written 12/20/07) We sat them in the dark Swallowed the key to knowledge, Bounded them to home To pluck the fruits we bore. But as the tyrant made his mark The world fell from sage, And the one bounded to home Handed knowledge, could bring back the days of yore. The bounded did ask But at a knock deliver the message, Olympe’s head rolled home For to rule wasn’t the rightful chore But fear was behind the mask, Fear for if knowledge Did come, The tyrant’s image would sore For as virtue knows no knack The world is due for change Not by some, But all who dwell in its core. 2 weeks ago Ides of March (Written 1/5/08) What shall I compare to thee? Thou art fairest All hearts faint at decree Of thy name and breast. Thou beam the top of happy hours With smile worthy of regalia Scent of rosy flowers That linger in the farthest of Ithaca. In thy eyes and words, thou love But thy stare & words beguile For men’s happy does thy love remove Aching misery from every angle. Beware her ambitions lay of harsh For thy love lead the Ides of March 2 weeks ago Bitter Blonde (Written 1/14/08) The smile that bore the sun, Bore the fruits of her anger, While the rat that feast upon her corn At peace she found and let linger. The wishful greetings and praises She buried as taunt, In mist of amazing graces For doom she fought, Taking happy a foe For constant were days of misery Leaving bitter her soul In strength, to fight days weary But thy heart does bleed with cries For happy, in bitter hours 2 weeks ago Days of yore (Ain’t no love) (Written 1/21/08) Feast upon the days of yore, The screams you howled The strikes upon your face The tears you bled, The ego that stumbled from grace Leaving your soul at mirror sour Aching for mercy, But thou love his gaze, So the strikes Thou dismiss As orthodox affection Refusing echo, in fear of apostasy But sick of the marks you bore, Thou chased the dove, Only to fall for the mask Drawn by the wicks of love So my arms you leave, but all I ask; Feast upon the days of yore 2 weeks ago Drunken Beauty (1/23/08) At drunk equilibrium Must’ve been my gaze For thou looked queen Regalia worthy of praise. But as sheep be of wisdom Sober my eyes found And away with thy crown My drunken gaze crowned Leaving disgust at each sight With pure ridicule at the pedestal My eyes then dim-wit Deemed hideous crystal. At judgment, failing to realize Some beauty drunk my eyes first! 2 weeks ago M.L.K TRIBUTE (written 1/20/07) Admired and adored as an African, Before beslaved by Crude consciences coasting. Destroying divine dedication, Especially extirpating everyone encouraging Freedom, fighting furiously, fatally for fellow Gentlemen granted God given Happiness hindered heinously. Instead, ignorant inked individuals Jargonized justice, justifying K.K.K killings knowingly, Legally licensing liars. Miraculously, minds maneuvered mimicking Minerva Navigating Negroes neutering nonviolence. Outcrying, organized obviously oppressed Peoples, previously prisoned, Questionably quarantined. Relentlessly rumbled, raving, raging racists. Slaved, successfully saved, silently slained Telling true tales. Undeniably united, U.S underhanded Verbally vocalized vivid visions. Would willing wine with wicked whites within *Xeres. Yielding youths yearning ZION. * A town in Australia famous for its wine. 2 weeks ago The unorthodox die (Written 2/16/07) “Great men hardly die peacefully.”- Charles Onyewuchi In many minds The world is better left As it is, Given the horrors of our past. Thus men who push for change Along with pioneers With unorthodox Thinking, practices and beliefs Are most at risk Of meeting an early grave. For we as a society Dread to stray Away From the norm- “our reality” Which justifies why great figures Like M.L.K, Jesus and Socrates All met death, For each either pushed for change Or bore beliefs and ideals Premature for their time. Thence in an attempt to protect “reality” We eliminate them, Only to again ponder the good Of walking the road they had envisioned. 2 weeks ago B4 I go (Written 3/2/08) Fly, Fly, Flay away to the heavens Tell the skies to tear And the stars To fear Leave of pot of gold On the chick And tear for me Under the tree Tap the drums of harmony And dance the dance Of misery Missing no beat Wear the eyes Of the fortune teller And tell me what thou see, What thou see clear Glare in the mirror of fate And plead for peace, Tell the prince of the night Not to dagger the yearns of the old Alas, tell the mother That she did fine And the heavens do thank The feast of greatness they wine….

Read and judge for yourself, could these poems have been written by a 15, 16 year old? NEVER BE PEACE (Written 8/8/07) The only answer To absolute peace Is buried in war Which brings terror to humanity! If the world Was bestowed With absolute peace, Yes, we shall have no conflicts But abolished will the basic humane instinct or privilege To revolt & question evil authority As souls quietly perish By men of evil hiding beneath the wings of harmony For absolute peace Won’t put good in men’s hearts Rather, it would give them courage To chase renegade, Committing heinous crimes In a world utopia Where men hardly question, act Nor shed a tear Thus giving evil liberty As world's citizens delay to act Leading the world into a pitfall For they lack strength to heed the humanist call. So to prevent this crisis, The road To absolute peace Is hidden where humane hearts dread! 2 weeks ago 3RD Rock Valley(Written 1/4/08) In the mare valley of wink, I bore witness to the heavens close; giant plates far from meek assembled to one to trap the foe For precious were us, that his queen valley he gave but our stabs of Corday left her a dead Marat. So with no linger of shame that his queen we defame, his heavens he closed with intent the sham´er dwell in the mist she rot. Then I un-winked to see wrongs mounted on thy steed to blasphemy in recoil for thy meed by the tongues of thy deed, soon to leave 3rd rock valley closed. 2 weeks ago Tyrant (Written 12/20/07) We sat them in the dark Swallowed the key to knowledge, Bounded them to home To pluck the fruits we bore. But as the tyrant made his mark The world fell from sage, And the one bounded to home Handed knowledge, could bring back the days of yore. The bounded did ask But at a knock deliver the message, Olympe’s head rolled home For to rule wasn’t the rightful chore But fear was behind the mask, Fear for if knowledge Did come, The tyrant’s image would sore For as virtue knows no knack The world is due for change Not by some, But all who dwell in its core. 2 weeks ago Ides of March (Written 1/5/08) What shall I compare to thee? Thou art fairest All hearts faint at decree Of thy name and breast. Thou beam the top of happy hours With smile worthy of regalia Scent of rosy flowers That linger in the farthest of Ithaca. In thy eyes and words, thou love But thy stare & words beguile For men’s happy does thy love remove Aching misery from every angle. Beware her ambitions lay of harsh For thy love lead the Ides of March 2 weeks ago Bitter Blonde (Written 1/14/08) The smile that bore the sun, Bore the fruits of her anger, While the rat that feast upon her corn At peace she found and let linger. The wishful greetings and praises She buried as taunt, In mist of amazing graces For doom she fought, Taking happy a foe For constant were days of misery Leaving bitter her soul In strength, to fight days weary But thy heart does bleed with cries For happy, in bitter hours 2 weeks ago Days of yore (Ain’t no love) (Written 1/21/08) Feast upon the days of yore, The screams you howled The strikes upon your face The tears you bled, The ego that stumbled from grace Leaving your soul at mirror sour Aching for mercy, But thou love his gaze, So the strikes Thou dismiss As orthodox affection Refusing echo, in fear of apostasy But sick of the marks you bore, Thou chased the dove, Only to fall for the mask Drawn by the wicks of love So my arms you leave, but all I ask; Feast upon the days of yore 2 weeks ago Drunken Beauty (1/23/08) At drunk equilibrium Must’ve been my gaze For thou looked queen Regalia worthy of praise. But as sheep be of wisdom Sober my eyes found And away with thy crown My drunken gaze crowned Leaving disgust at each sight With pure ridicule at the pedestal My eyes then dim-wit Deemed hideous crystal. At judgment, failing to realize Some beauty drunk my eyes first! 2 weeks ago M.L.K TRIBUTE (written 1/20/07) Admired and adored as an African, Before beslaved by Crude consciences coasting. Destroying divine dedication, Especially extirpating everyone encouraging Freedom, fighting furiously, fatally for fellow Gentlemen granted God given Happiness hindered heinously. Instead, ignorant inked individuals Jargonized justice, justifying K.K.K killings knowingly, Legally licensing liars. Miraculously, minds maneuvered mimicking Minerva Navigating Negroes neutering nonviolence. Outcrying, organized obviously oppressed Peoples, previously prisoned, Questionably quarantined. Relentlessly rumbled, raving, raging racists. Slaved, successfully saved, silently slained Telling true tales. Undeniably united, U.S underhanded Verbally vocalized vivid visions. Would willing wine with wicked whites within *Xeres. Yielding youths yearning ZION. * A town in Australia famous for its wine. 2 weeks ago The unorthodox die (Written 2/16/07) “Great men hardly die peacefully.”- Charles Onyewuchi In many minds The world is better left As it is, Given the horrors of our past. Thus men who push for change Along with pioneers With unorthodox Thinking, practices and beliefs Are most at risk Of meeting an early grave. For we as a society Dread to stray Away From the norm- “our reality” Which justifies why great figures Like M.L.K, Jesus and Socrates All met death, For each either pushed for change Or bore beliefs and ideals Premature for their time. Thence in an attempt to protect “reality” We eliminate them, Only to again ponder the good Of walking the road they had envisioned. 2 weeks ago B4 I go (Written 3/2/08) Fly, Fly, Flay away to the heavens Tell the skies to tear And the stars To fear Leave of pot of gold On the chick And tear for me Under the tree Tap the drums of harmony And dance the dance Of misery Missing no beat Wear the eyes Of the fortune teller And tell me what thou see, What thou see clear Glare in the mirror of fate And plead for peace, Tell the prince of the night Not to dagger the yearns of the old Alas, tell the mother That she did fine And the heavens do thank The feast of greatness they wine….

Jokes from me......................................? Child:"Mom can i asked u a question?" Mom:"You just did, ba bye" Frog says to fortune teller:"Whats my fortune?" Fortune Teller:"You will be touched by a girl." Frog:"WOW!!! When and Where?" Fortune Teller:"Next semester in Bio Lab Kid falling asleep Teacher:"Exuse me, there is no falling asleep in my class young man Kid:"O K" Teacher:"thank you" Kid:"I'm still tired, nighty night." Teacher:"Did you hear me?" Kid:"Yes why?" Teacher:"I said no sleepin in my class" Kid:"No, you said no FALLING asleep in class, I'm sitting up." Kid chewing gum in class Teacher:"Whats in ur mouth?" Kid:"Tounge. And one joke is not mine Yah i did, srry there just so funny, but 2 r mine to:innocent scorpion

what is this movie?please answer this is driving us NUTS!? ok the movie is about this girl who gets told by a fortune teller the name of the person she will marry (i think it is david or something??)then a few years later she is engaged to someone else and she gets a phone call from this david person wishing her and her fiance the best of luck with their marrige. then she finds out he is goin to Italy so her and her best friend go to Italy and chase this guy all over. on the way she meets this guy that loves her, but first he lies to her and says he is "david" then he tells her the truth but he wont leave her and helps her to find "david" then he ends up leaving her and they are going to go on seperate planes,but then the "david" gets called down to the information office or something and they both rush to go there. and then other guy is like "ok david this girl has been looking for you everywhere and wants to marry you and blahblah" then he leaves and 'david' asks if she loves the other guy and she says yes and then she rushes to his plane and she gets on it and they kiss and everybody is like awww and then i dont remember what happens.. p.s. i dont know if the guys name is david

Is this story I wrote funny? The entire wizarding community was celebrating. Lord Voldemort had been destroyed, when his Killing Curse failed to hurt a baby. There were many questions left unanswered, but who cared? The Dark Lord was dead, which meant nobody had to fear for their safety. An old man called Dumbledore was eating lemon drops outside Number Four, Privet Drive. There was a cat there as well. Or, not a cat. It suddenly turned into a middle-aged woman with green glasses. “Dumbledore, is it true? Was Voldemort killed by a child?” “Well, not killed exactly. As you know, Minerva, wizards never actually die. His soul swarms all around us. It is the sucker part of the Tootsie Roll Pop, and we are the chocolate center.” “Okay, fine, but a child was responsible?” “Young Neville Strongbottom will always bear the scar of the triumph he has had. But the baby’s victory is nil when you consider the loss of the Potter Family.” The lady looked aghast. “Lily and James Potter, dead? But wasn’t Serious Black their Secret-Keeper?” “Yes, and he turned them in. He also killed thirteen million people in and around New York City, among them cheerful Peter Pettigrew. Pettigrew was Neville’s godfather.” “Does this mean the Big Apple has been destroyed?” “The Big Apple, Hogsmeade, Cairo, the Golden Gate Bridge, the Indian Ocean, and ostriches are all relics of the past.” “How is the Indian Ocean gone?” “Oh, one of Voldemort’s servants—a R.A.B.—used a spell to coerce the Earth’s Crust into draining that area. Now it is just one giant basin.” “Well, thank Merlin the age of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Shamed is over. I was getting tired of worshipping a true idol. This day will probably be Neville Strongbottom Day in the future.” “Yes, about that, Minerva. I was thinking it might be nice to send Strongbottom to live with Muggles instead of a wizarding family to raise him.” “But why, Albus?” “Because if wizards are responsible for his upbringing, when he is older they will congratulate themselves on creating the world’s most powerful wizard. Neville has strength in his blood, and not just his hiney.” “It still seems terrible to punish him so, but whom did you have in mind to raise him?” “A couple of charitable folk known as the Dursleys.” “You can’t mean the people who live here?” Minerva asked, her appalled expression turned towards Number Four Privet Drive. “Why, certainly. The Dursleys were relatives of the Potters, and Strongbottom could benefit from their instruction since both he and Harry shared characteristics that linked them to a prophecy I heard little more than a month ago.” “You know I don’t believe in these psuedo-fortune tellers.” “I have reason to believe this woman was the genuine article. She also predicted that I would be killed within sixteen years’ time, on account of being betrayed by somebody I’m going to give my full and complete trust.” “But, Albus, you’re immortal! The only thing that can kill you is an overdose of sweets. You know what the Healer said about your fetish for lemon drops.” “Oh, yes,” Dumbledore said, staring guiltily at the candy he had just unwrapped. “Well, you only live twice,” he commented, popping it into his mouth. Ten years later, Neville Strongbottom received a letter to Hogwarts. He could barely read a word, because his Mierzly had drooled all over it. Mierzly was the monkey that belonged to Dudley Dursley, who didn’t know a coat rack from a pogo stick. Neville told Vernon about the letter he couldn’t read. “Go sit on your cousin’s ape, and maybe that’ll teach him a lesson,” Vernon advised. “Thanks, I’ll try that.” But it was as if Mierzly had anticipated the cruel and unusual punishment he was about to receive. He was nowhere to be found. So Neville sat on Dudley’s Playstation instead. Dudley went to complain to his father that he couldn’t put Alien Surprise! in the Playstation console because Cousin Neville had decided to plant himself on it. Vernon told Neville to get off, and that he was sure another letter would show up, or he was Oliver Cromwell. Days later, an influx of letters fell through the chimney. Mierzly tried his best to drool on them all, but only got to thirty or forty before Neville was able to fetch a clean one and carry it to his bedroom, which was covered with a whole bunch of Dudley’s junk in it. Neville opened the letter, and read it in disbelief. He, a wizard! No, impossible…such things were confined to fairy tales. He went to ask Vernon about it. “It’s true, every word of it, dear nephew,” Vernon said. “You were left on our doorstep around your first birthday, and Petunia and I wanted to keep it a secret from you, since we knew our Dudders would be jealous. That’s why we bought Mierzly—so that he’d have someone to punch when you went off to learn magic and he was left behind.” “Where can I get my supplies?” “Oh, the good, homely gatekeeper of Hogwarts will be here within three day The Harry Potter MOVIE? That's idiocy at its finest. I love the book too. That's why I made a parody of it.

is this fate? or is it just a coincidence? ok so there was this girl at school and we started being friends recently & i NEVER thought we would be friends but now we're BFFs lol anyway it turns out her family is close friends with this family who has a kid @ my school & in my grade then out of the blue his mom started saying how we should go out & stuff and one time on a vacation they took they went to a fortune teller & asked if we would get married......she said yes I thought it was just a coincidence but now its weird bcuz i think he likes me al of a sudden & i think im starting to like him.....I'm not even sure y i like him i just do also now the whole family knows & likes me they started treating me like part of the family for example the guys sister is always saying how I'm like her sister & the guys little brother treats me like the way a little kid would treat a big sister & the parents both think im going out with the guy & they like me....actually they liked me b4 anyway lol ok now here's y i think it might be fate: 1. the parents both have jobs in industries I wanted to go into when I get a job & stuff 2. they have the kind of life I always dreamed of having (probably just coincidental) 3. the parents are the exact kind of people I always wanted to have when I got married & had in- laws 4. suddenly this guy and I (i think) like each other and we barely even speak to each other 5. this pretty much all started cuz I randomly became friends with this one girl 6. We've borrowed stuff from each other like friends or family members do what do u think?? lol sry its so long by the way