Mystical Angels - Help! I have a confession to make! ?

Help! I have a confession to make! ?

Your Confession has been created. Obsessive compulsive disorder has ruined my life ever since I was 13. It kicked into my mind thoughts of homosexuality, incest, murder of family, insanity, stupidity and much more. It has disrupted my social maturity during those years and still has a lasting effect on me. I still can’t get over the fear of dropping out of college ever since a fortune teller said that I would not do so. It’s been haunting me ever since I was 12. Now I’m 21. My dad just found out this year that my two younger brothers are not his own kids. His suspicion beforehand has generated tremendous chaos within my family. We have been splitting apart for the past 4 years. I have no close friends, nobody to talk to about my deepest feelings. I’m always lonely living here on the college campus surrounded by people I don’t know. I feel ashamed that I’m 21 and don’t even have a driver’s license. I’ve asked my dad to teach me how to drive, but he has demanded gas money for his assistance. I feel that he doesn’t love me. Everyday I do the same things over and over again. I wake up, go to my classes, return to my apartment, watch movies online, masturbate, cook dinner, take a shower, do homework, and repeat this process the next day. I’m sick of it. I’m a very self-conscious person. Whenever I walk outside, I feel like other people are judging how I look or somehow laughing at me within their heart. I notice dirty looks or little smirks on their faces from time to time and it drives me crazy. I have a huge anger problem and I don’t know how to handle it. I get so mad all the time with all the bottled-up emotions I hold inside of me. Deep down inside I really want to have a girlfriend but I know I don’t stand a chance in today’s shallow society. Every girl wants her boyfriend to look handsome, own a car, pursue a medical or similar degree, and have lots of money. But I don’t have any of that. I fear that the girls I ask out will turn me down in a heartbeat so I shouldn’t even waste my time. I have a 7 inch penis and I’m still a virgin so I feel like I’m missing out on the best years of my life. I masturbate almost everyday. In the shower, on my bed in the morning, in front of the computer watching porn. I have a fetish for white girls but I know they’ll never pay any attention to me. I feel like my life sucks so much because of karma. I’ve verbally abused my grandmother in the last years of her life and now it’s coming back to give me what I deserve. I feel so sad all the time and I cry to music videos on Youtube frequently such as Kelly Clarkson, Enrique Iglesias “hero”, and many many others. Pretty boy” by m2m as well. I am a total loser who has lost so much and does not know if he will ever redeem himself. I keep changing my mind about God and whether or not He actually exists because he never seems to answer my prayers. And the more I look around, particularly at my shithole life, I begin to feel that there may be no God after all and that it is all just one grandiose myth. That’s all for now, my eyes are beginning to feel sore…

Public Comments

7 inches? not too shabby. what's the question?
pay your dad the gas money/ he's testing you to see if you can be responsible http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AogjDn0UDBgcF1GDq2CQUd3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20081102214525AAbFGsY/ as for god-my butt is covered/ is yours?
I am sorry to hear of you troubles but God can help you if you seek his help. those who deny Jesus' love will find themselves in hell but you still have a choice to get to know him.
You will get no useful help or advice here. Talk to someone trusted. Probably not family.Try a teacher/lecturer? Someone who knows the city you live in. See about getting into some serious therapy. There's a long rough road ahead, and the only person you'll ever really be able to trust to walk it is yourself. Try not to be so hard on yourself. If you give up on you then there genuinely will be no-one to help. And steer clear of the churchies. Especially the psycho fundie ones. They'll babble at you, tell you they cast something out, and to pray more and pretend that they have helped.
My friend, I could try to advise you but I'm not qualified. You need professional help. I can tell you that God is real and that the Bible clearly lays out how you should live your life in such a way that will make you as happy as you will allow yourself to be. It gives definite structure, direction & instruction on what is good & what should be avoided. Speak to a church pastor for assistance. You have nothing to lose but your misery.
if any man is in christ he is a new creation the old things are passed away..god isnt a vending machine where you put n a prayer and expect your life to change..god is a relationship..he accepts you as pathetic as you are..bt loves you reveal you a higher path. finding his ways..holyness may not seem like fun but you know it sure keeps you out of trouble, but the richness in being loved by god your desire change, you stop thinking about yourself all the time and start focusing on how you can be a blessing to others. if you live like that others end up likeing genuine generous selfless people they are a joy to be around..jesus said deny yourself pick up your cross and follow me..if you are tired of your life invite jesus to be your lord, learn of him follow him...
Here's the thing: God is hard to understand. In fact, you will never understand why He allows horrible things to happen in life. But, something I do know is that God only puts us in situations He knows we can handle. Unfortunately for us, God has soo much faith in what we can deal with. I often find that I'm put into situations that I can't handle on my own. And, you know what, I can't. It's God by my side that gets me through the really difficult times. Although I haven't been through nearly as much as you have, I sometimes feel the way you feel. I am also very self-conscience and feel the stares of others, but I try not to let it immobilize me. Get out of you apartment and try something new! It might make you feel uncomfortable, but you never know, you could meet someone who thinks you're amazing. And just for the record, not all girls are looking for those things in a guy. There are girls out there who care more about the personality and companionship than looks and fancy degrees. God does exist. You just have to believe. And I mean REALLY believe. Not just say you believe because you need a miracle. And when you do that things will start to fall in place. Not immediately, but eventually. You just have to be patient.
Man there is a God don't ever question that. Don't it say in the Bible that we go though hard times, we only get what we can handle n god is always there when we need him, he never leaves us or forsakes us. U have to let go of things I think n forgive. The things u go thu in life only make u stronger. I went thu heaps of shit in my life but it don't matter now cause God helped me out of it. Stop masturbating man God don't like us doing that. God's got plans for u, never doubt him. Is there things in ur life u need to change, give up or start doing? U can't just sit around having self pitty it's a sin n God ain't going to answer ur prayers if u r in self pitty. U have to help God get u where u want to be, he want just do it for u. go to a church n get some nice people in ur life. I go to a pentecostal church n I find it to be a trust worthy church filled with nice people. Be careful what church u go to some can be cults.
hi and wow you shouldent be ashamed that your a virgin and the part about God (watch paul washer on youtube) your not a loser God is real dont watch porn fortune tellers are stupid you dont have bad karma enrique iglesis is the best we dont need to knoe you hjdghjfh size and thats about it you can get a girl :) God bless
Thank you for sharing that with us, you really opened your heart up for others to help. First of all, your life is in gods hands... dont believe some fortune teller about anything, god is a god of miracles. One thing I see missing here is that you do not have an outlet to express your feelings. I would seriously suggest excercise or a hobby that you like. Also do not be ashamed to seek counseling, it will help you to work through your feelings.. and get to accept yourself as you are. There are also some great meds for OCD as well, do not be ashamed to ask for help. The world is superficial but many women would take a nice and sincere man, over any material attributes. Looks dont mean anything, neither does money or status.. you can have all those and still no love. Also, if you can get a bible.. this would be a great time for you to start reading the new testiment. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you, so you want to make sure your in gods hands to guide you for his purpose. The world is open to you my friend, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened. And, get rid of the porn that is a doorway to darkness.. God will deliver you .