Mystical Angels

Are NINJAS FRIGGIN AWSOME?

Now read my essay and tell me what you think. It is a analogy essay about Ninjas and gods. Criticism is what I need people! George NINJA! By George Chan From the day a Ninja is born, he possesses many extraordinary powers. At the age of 3 days, they begin their life long journey as an all powerful being, much like a god. Similar to Zeus, the Greek king of Gods, Ninjas are immortal, and cannot be killed by bullets or human beings. Ninjas, similar to Ares, the Greek god of War, lack any type of personality. Furthermore, they can split planks vertically with their nose and crush golf balls with 2 fingers like Atlas, the Greek god of strength. From doing immense research, I found out that Ninjas can run 100 miles with their hands and choose to be anywhere they want at anytime. The Greek god of speed, Hermes has the same abilities. Ninjas sometimes flip out and kill everything with Ninja swords, similar to the all powerful God of Christianity in World War 2. Identical to Guthix, the Runescape god of disguise, Ninjas can hide in incense smoke, remove their shadows when needed, and live in your house for 3 days without you noticing. After visiting the Elite Element clan located near the Hyaku-Meizan mountain of Japan, I realized that Ninjas are completely self sufficient and perform their circumcision ceremony themselves at the age of 2. The Jewish god ‘Adonai’ did the same 7 billion years ago at the age of 2. Ninjas are psychic just as some gods are, as they can predict the songs on an IPod shuffle. Moreover they created the wheel twice and gave the cat 9 lives so they can use them more often for Shuriken practice. Ninjas do not wear Spandex, they wear robes, just as Jesus do, and they also Iron their clothes while wearing them. These beings are also masters of weaponry. In an average living room, there are 1,249 items they can use to kill you with. I also found out after my lifelong research that a Ninja can cause immense pain, grief and headaches to an onion as it is the only things that can make a Ninja cry. After losing a toe and breaking 2 bones, I found out that Ninjas play dangerous games for fun, just like the gods. I was playing minesweeper with the Ninjas with real mines. After researching the Ninjas personal lifestyle, I found out that Ninjas contribute to the society, just like the gods. They donate a lot of blood to the Red Cross, just not their own blood. Their tears cure cancer, just like Apollo the Greek god of the sun, but unlike Apollo, Ninjas do not weep. A ninja was once a Hollywood star, which gave a lot of money away to charity. He was awarded a Hollywood star during his career and made a hand print in the cement when the cement was already dry. Finally, despite the Ninjas extraordinary abilities, they cannot fly, but can only hover, for 7 hours at a time. Samurais and anime characters aren’t Ninjas, and as a final conclusion, Ninjas are awesome, just like Jesus. END

Public Comments

1. Nice