Mystical Angels - Why are you against / for arranged marriage?

Why are you against / for arranged marriage?

In present days,it is like parents of virgin male and female arranges matching partners for their son,daughter based on social status,respectability,educational status,job etc and preferably matching horoscopes.The girl and boy are then allowed to date for a while like 2/3 months after which they get engaged.They get lots of time after engagement before marriage.Anytime they feel like it is not going forward,the parents cancel the arrangement.The girl and boy are hardly pressurized and are given a free choice. i am for it because - i feel there are lots of people around who just marry for power,money,sex,influence etc and not based on true love - statistically,these kind of marriage are longer lasting and brings lots of stability,very low rate of divorces(only one percent compared to 50% of love marriages) - it brings together two families - i don't think a parent will purposefully choose a bad partner for son/daughter

Public Comments

I'm against it. Parents aren't as smart as you think they are.
Against. No one should decide your fate other than yourself. Thankfully in America we have the right to choose our own mates without family interference.
I'm against it cause no one has the right to make that decision for you, no matter if he only wants the best for you. If you choose wrong it has at least still been your choice. People should be free to be their own masters not be chosen a life by others.
"The girl and boy are then allowed to date for a while like 2/3 months".... erm no This happens for the majority of arranged marriages does it? get your facts right arranged marriage is backward. there is a lower divorce rate usually because the girl is scared (for her life) or they dont want to upset the parents thus forsaking happiness dont be so naive
Do you really believe what you're saying. Statistically they stay married, but they don't even talk to each other unless they are forced. Many women commit suicide. You don't know because your government doesn't allow the media to report it.
Against...I hate to see the loser my parents would have chosen for me.
I am against any sort of marriage.
First off, your description of arranged marriage is a best-case scenario - there are plenty of examples of situations where the couple are pressured, both by the family and social expectations, to accept the arrangement, not to mention situations where the family is setting up the marriage for power, money, or influence without regards to the feelings of the couple. There are also plenty of examples of bad partner choice - for instance, the marriage of underage girls to much older men. And arranged marriages last longer primarily because they occur in very conservative societies where divorce is difficult, if not impossible, to obtain. And you can hardly say that any arranged marriage is based on true love, which you imply in your first bullet-point. Most, if not all of these factors are a part of real-world arranged marriages in any society that has made use of them, so your rosy picture is simply not true. And yes, there can be problems with marriage by choice, but in that case, the couple involved have made their own choice to be in the relationship - the problems are not imposed on the couple by family or society, so I cannot view those problems as carrying the same condemning moral weight. Let people marry who they want - they may make mistakes, but at least they won't be exploited and used in the process.
Neither. People should be able to do as they wish and follow the beliefs they choose as long as they are not harming others. This is not harmful. However I think one main reason for the success of these marriages has more to do with the beliefs of those involved as opposed to the type of marriage.
This cracks me up... So... It's OK for parents to pick a partner based on "social status, respectability, educational status, job, etc..." but, I'm considered a "gold digger" if I choose one based on those criterion...
It sure would save me serious time, effort, and money in my female pursuits. Of course, I'd like to think I could pick a good mate. But would that necessarily be the case? I'm looking at a near 50% divorce rate. How well would my Mom pick for me? Who knows... D.E.: I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she don't want no ... Sorry to say, but if you choose a guy who makes more than $10/hr and/or has a college degree, you apparently are a gold digger by some opinions. Maybe hang out at the unemployment office and fish for guys :)
First of all, in arranged marriages the couple is traditionally not really allowed to date at all. If there are meetings between the couple, they are usually chaperoned so closely that there is no way of getting to know each other in any meaningful way. Conversation is limited to the very smallest of small talk. Second, while these marriages might last a long time, it's because anyone who divorces in such a culture is regarded as unsuitable for another marriage. While the man might have a choice, the woman almost never does, unless her parents are extremely indulgent. She has to take the man who is willing to marry her. And as for true love...no. The partners in arranged marriages might grow fond of each other, but they almost never really love each other romantically. In fact, the whole point of arranged marriages is to avoid True Love, because it's regarded as fleeting and unwanted. Third, while a parent might try to choose a good partner for their child, my parents were spectacularly bad at choosing my school courses and my clothes when I was a tween and teen. The boys and men that they introduced me to, as suitable dates, were disasters. My parents were trying to do their best, but the men that they picked were simply not compatible with me. My parents were aghast at the man that I DID want to marry, and he and I just celebrated our 33rd anniversary. On the other hand, my parents introduced my sister to the man she married, and later divorced, and they gave their blessing to the woman that my brother married, and later divorced. Astrology (horoscopes) is a pseudoscience. It's complete and utter nonsense, there is no scientific basis for it at all. Now, I could agree that some mandatory premarital counseling might be good. For instance, the couples would be put in separate rooms, and have to fill out tests about how they handle money, how many kids they want, if they want ANY kids at all, what sort of life they expect to live, etc. If one person wants to live a nomadic life, going on archaeological digs every summer and living in a different city every winter, while her husband wants to dig as well, in the old family farm, and doesn't want to move around at all...that's a sign that either they're gonna have to do some serious compromising or that they aren't really compatible. Or if she wants to be a stay at home mother while he doesn't want kids at all, but likes a jet-setting lifestyle, that's also a red flag. The thing is, though, parents are not trained to be matchmakers, and frequently are too emotionally involved in their own dreams and goals to make good matchmakers for their own children.
I'm against it because I believe in able-minded adults making their own decisions in life. It might work for some cultures, but no one else should be forced to adopt it, especially because of the risk of regret. We risk that every time we choose something.
I'm 100% against it. NO ONE, even your parents, should determine who you love. Especially your parents, a lot of times they don't know what you want and don't know what's good for your love life. If I'm going to get married, it will be MY decision and mine only. No one determines who I love, I determine it.
Personally, I wouldnt like it, but it is something that is in a culture different to my own, so I accept it.
the institution of marriage was designed for people in love to celebrate their love and commit to each other for life. arranging marriages based on social status, education etc, destroys all that.